Day 6

Tonight is one of those nights my heart aches and I wish parenting was easy. We've once again come to a crossroads with Sam (my 8 year old) and his fear - of the unknown, of trying something new, of making decisions. I'm not going to go into it all because it's his business, but I'll share that we've been doing EVERYTHING we know to encourage him to take risks and trust God, so for his own sake, he will be less fearful as he grows up.

To see your child literally paralyzed by fear is heartbreaking. We get all sorts of advice and commentary on how to work or deal with him . . . none of it super helpful, and some just downright stupid and ignorant: "It's just a phase," "I was exactly like that as a child, I feel bad for him," "At least he's not bringing knives to school, now THAT'S a real issue that you should be worried about," "He just needs to confess his sin of idolatry before a real heart change can happen," "Your being shy is not glorifying to God," "He just needs to stop being selfish and get over it," "You need to stop talking to him about things and just make the decision for him." Again, real things said by real people about my real son . . . seriously?!?!? Heartbreaking.

Today's post won't be long, because I'm tired and sad and want to go to bed, but I'm reminded of Proverbs 4:23 which says after talking about striving for wisdom, "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." As Sam's mom, my job at this stage in his life is to guard his heart. If his heart isn't protected, a path of destruction may be the trail he leaves in the future, as EVERYTHING he does will flow from the state of his heart. So this begs me to ask, am I stewarding my sons' hearts well? Am I pushing for things that are really helpful in the long run for them, or am I pushing because I fear what others think? If it's the latter, they will surely be consumed.

My prayer for both my boys, but for Sam in particular tonight, is that he "not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present (his) requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard (his) heart and (his) mind in Christ Jesus. (Sam), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" (Philippians 4:6-8).