Day 24

I had a WONDERFUL time with great friends tonight as we started our Sabbath! The company alone would have been enough, but throwing good food and a walk on top of it was a real treat!

Over the last week, I've really been thinking about the notion of contentment, and whether or not I have it. I like to think I do, but I honestly have come to terms with the fact that I'm more often than not only content in my everyday life, when things are going my way. That doesn't sound like contentment, that sounds like spoiled! I know very well though that I'm not alone in this notion, because, well, look around! This is such a prevalent theme in the culture I live in today, especially here in America, that it has become the norm. Though it's the norm, I truly don't want it to be in my life. The problem is, when I am in my "routine" it's really hard not to fall back into that same pattern of wanting what I want when I want it. I don't know why, but this week, I've struggled with this. Maybe because I've really wanted something I couldn't have (even more this week than the past two), and it made me really angry because I couldn't have it. I know, another lovely little gem that makes up Abby! I guess this is why I love getting outside my "routine" with things like mission trips.

There is no room for MY normal in something like a mission trip. There's no room for my selfishness, my demands, my routine, my schedule, my attitude, or my will when I'm intentionally focusing on serving others. And I realize "serving others" can be done here at home, but does it? I believe it's incredibly hard to give of yourself fully to other people (especially those not related to you) when you are in your comfort zone, or when you know the safety of your comfort zone is within reach or nearby. And the great tragedy of it all, is that not only do you live a life wishy-washy and uncontent, but you become so focused on trying to make yourself content that you miss out on the joy of the souls and the "one anothers" around you (**). And so, I want to explore how I can more intentionally live my life daily, here in my norm, with the same intentionality that I live it while on a mission trip. I want that Abby to be my new norm, so that no matter what goes on circumstantially in my life, I will be content.

** http://www.cerrogordocob.com/sermons/One_Another.pdf