Day 36

"I'm busy, busy, dreadfully busy, more than a bumblebee, more than an ant!" Thankfully though, not too much to take the moments to help my friend with a shoe on his head up out of a hole!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you obviously haven't had young children in the last 10 or so years, or aren't familiar with VeggieTales! I feel like I'm on cruise control right now. I know I'm not the only one either. I look at James and tell him he has to stop and rest, but know that he really can't without dropping a very important ball. And how is one to choose which one to drop? In some ways, cruise control is okay, b/c you're still making forward progress, but it's also unsettling b/c you aren't really in total control.

I have to wonder, the weeks leading up to Christ's death, was He ever on cruise control? I mean, the guy was a busy dude, and He knew what was coming . . . not really something to look forward to, crucifixion. People like to say that it was easy for Him b/c He was God. He knew the end result, He knew the purpose, He was in control. I think those people forget that Jesus was fully human too, and experienced our emotions. I'm sure He was scared. I'm sure He fully felt pain. I'm sure He felt dread. I'm sure He racked His brain for some other alternative. I'm sure there was a time when He possibly wished He could take a few moments to gather His wits about Him. There may have even been a moment when for the hundredth time the disciples asked Him a silly question, he wondered, "seriously? Are they worth this?"

I believe Jesus was on cruise control, but the difference between Him and often times us, is who we let do the controlling. When He stopped to make sure all systems were go, He didn't just check in with the gauge in front of Him. They were all sleeping or busy betraying Him. Instead, He had some moments alone and checked with the One who wrote the manual. He implored the Creator and Designer of the plan to see if there was any other way to do this thing. And the answer was, "no. This is it. This is the only way it can happen." And so, Jesus tuned back in, checked in with those He loved, and plowed forward with the plan. And I think it's at that point, Jesus may have turned off cruise control. And for me, I think that in order to really understand, as much as I can, what Jesus did on the cross, I have to believe that He, in His own power and will, because He knew it was the only way, decided to carry out the plan to suffer and die on the cross for my sins.

So, on days when my life seems to be on cruise control, I'm okay with that, even if it's unsettling, as long as the the cruise control is operated by the Creator of the plan.