Day 45

Today is Good Friday. Not entirely sure why they call it that. Nothing really great about a crucifixion in and of itself. Thankfully, one crucifixion in particular was pretty spectacular! Maybe that's why they call it Good.

I had a good day with the family today, then headed over to church for our Good Friday service. We decided to watch Mel Gibson's version of the Passion of the Christ as a church this year for our service. I gotta be honest, I was super excited to watch it again, b/c it's been quite some time since I've seen it. It's just not one of those movies you watch over and over again, but from time to time, it's a good reminder of the brutality that Jesus went through. Apparently though, not all were on the same page of my excitement.

I think most people either had the, "been there, seen that" attitude, or the "it's too graphic" mentality. I know there were other reasons too, but honestly I think most people would rather focus on the resurrection of Christ and not the actual suffering and brutality He went through on our behalf. Irregardless, those that weren't there missed out. Even though nothing about this service went right, technical difficulties up the kazoo, people were late, people didn't show up, and people left because they had other things to do, it was still an incredibly moving time! There's something about watching a movie like "The Passion" in a public setting with the people you worship Christ with on a daily/weekly basis. It makes your being together matter. I don't know, something about the "communion of saints."

As I watched the movie, I was struck by several things. First, I wonder how that guard's life was changed after Peter cut off his ear and then Jesus healed it. Talk about a potential change of mission! His job was to arrest Jesus. Then that same prisoner is healing a major life-altering wound on his captor. It had to have an effect! I look forward to hearing someday what it was.

I was also struck by the relationship between Jesus and his mom this time. Last time I saw the movie, I was a mom, but just barely with Sam. Now I get it a little more. I think people forget how hard it must have been for Jesus watching His mom suffer while watching her son die. Even though Jesus was very sure of who He was and where He came from, Mary was still His mom. That's a sacred thing, the bond between a mother and a child. The emotions and temptations surrounding that had to be horrifyingly painful.

Thirdly, I really understood and experienced the lyrics to the hymn "Were You There?" I had the full on "tremble" going on as I watched this scene unfold again, and I was only watching one person's depiction of it on a screen. Can you imagine actually being there and watching this all take place? I truly believe it would seriously cause me to tremble, tremble, tremble.

Finally, I was vehemently furious with those who were taunting, condemning, jeering, accusing, spitting on, beating, and berating Jesus. I wanted to stand up and defend and protect Him, both verbally and physically. I pray that I would. However, as I was sitting there outraged, the lyrics to one of my favorite songs popped in my head, and I realized, I was one of those in the crowd doing exactly what I hated. Perhaps my name should be Peter . . .

How Deep the Father's Love for Us
How deep the Father's love for us.
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss.
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders.
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished.
His dying breath has brought me life.
I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything,
No gifts, no power, no wisdom.
But I will boast in Jesus Christ!
His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom.


I am so grateful for the sacrifice Christ made for me. Words can never fully express how much. And I'm very very grateful that this year in particular, I really got it! Maybe this is the real merit of Lent. Because not only did I get a night of preparing my heart for the mysterious miracle that we celebrate on Sunday, but I had over a full month of intentional preparation, which has just made it all so very alive and "mission changing" for me! Thank you, thank you Jesus!