Today was easier in a sense b/c I knew tonight we started our Sabbath, which meant real food was coming! And I wasn't in withdrawal mode. I fear though that what I went through the last two days will happen again once Sabbath is over. So though it was mentally easier to keep on keeping on, it was hard because I was emotionally low and crabby. Never a great thing to be when you live with other people. Fortunately those people love me despite myself.
We had dinner with wonderful friends tonight at a wonderful restaurant "The Flying Goat." They make amazing gourmet pizzas. I have to admit, I was pretty tentative putting the first few bites in my mouth. It's just weird when you've told yourself "no" for a few days. The statement is true, "you can't really feast until you have fasted!" Man, pizza has never tasted so good! And yet, it's just food. Do I live my life in such a way that when the real feast of seeing Jesus face to face happens, the fasting here on earth will be worth it? Or does my life even look like a fast? Do I even make room for or notice times of sacrifices, extreme hunger, and longing? Do I try my hardest to avoid those times? When they are there, do I quickly try to fill them up with pleasures and feasts that aren't life-giving or sustaining instead of recognizing them as a time to hand over the controls? These are things I think about. I want to say that I leave room for God to stretch, grow and mold me into His creation and for His purposes, but truthfully I'm learning that I'm really just hoping that He's on board with my desires. The feast is amazing and worth a really high price. I need to make sure I don't take it for granted!
Abby - something I have been thinking about lately has been communion. Quite literally we are supposed to "feast" on Jesus. I wonder during this time of fasting don't focus just on what you are missing or enjoying once a sabbath day comes, but feast on the Lord. His Word is the Bread of Life. I do not know, but I might suggest really digging deep in a book of the Bible that you have struggled understanding before. Or just immerse yourself in a Gospel read it over and over again and let it feed you in your fasting days. I have really enjoyed studying the book of Mark lately. If you call me I'd come drink some water with you and read it with you for a change of pace. Let me know. I think it is good for God to be stretching you like this. I hope you learn a lot about your walk with Him. Along with the health bennies. ;)
ReplyDelete