Well, it's the last day of Lent! Tomorrow we celebrate our Risen Lord! It's been a fun journey of remembering, learning, growing, and sharing. I hope by next year when I do this again, I will be able to say that I steward some of what I've talked about over the last 46 days much better than I do now. I definitely feel like I have a grid and framework with which to evaluate things that I do or think more carefully after this month. It's amazing that if you think on something for a length of time like this, it actually starts to change how you think and process things because there's real intention to it.
One piece of the grid is this writing process. If there's something I'm considering doing, I'm going to write it out, and consider if it's something that is being consumed or stewarded. Does it drain me or give life? Is it wasteful or responsible? Another piece of the grid is taking areas that are important and holding them up to the Word of God to see if they mesh. If not, I really need to evaluate how much value I put in said area. Another piece of my grid is accountability. Even though not everyone comments, knowing even a few people read this everyday makes me accountable for my actions, and I have had a choice about sharing real stuff or blowing smoke so that I can look "acceptable". I've really tried to be authentic, and knowing that, I have enjoyed the accountability of others knowing me. It's so easy to hide stuff in our lives, and part of my grid is if there's something that I want to hide and not share with anyone, then it shouldn't be part of my life. These are just a couple examples of what I've taken away from this experience. There is a lot more, and it will take re-reading these posts for me to make it nice and concise.
To end though, I just want to share that this has been a very significant Holy Week for James and me and the boys. I'm so excited to be able to end the week with a celebration with my church family and my family family! I'm excited to go downtown tomorrow night with my boys and ask people how their day was and give them a meal to eat. I'm grateful for the opportunity to live my life full of life instead of skirting through half-dead like so many Christians I see around me. I pray that I will choose this attitude daily and make every moment count. What Jesus did on this week should mean everything to a Christian. Because of it, we're alive!! Let's not waste those lives, and let's make sure we're helping others find life too!!
Who but You
Could breathe and leave a trail of galaxies
And dream of me?
What kind of Love
Is writing my story until the end
With Mercy’s pen?
Only You.
What kind of king
Would chose to wear a crown that bleeds and scars
To win my heart?
What kind of Love
Tells me I’m the reason He can’t stay
Inside the grave?
You. Is it You?
Standing here before my eyes,
Every part of my heart cries
Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome;
Death has lost and Love has won
Alive! Alive! Hallelujah, Risen Lord,
The only One I fall before
I am His because He is alive.
Who could speak,
And send the demons back from where they came
With just one Name?
What other heart
Would let itself be broken every time
'Til He healed mine?
You. Only You
Could turn my darkness into dawn;
running right into Your arms
Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome;
Death has lost and Love has won
Alive! Alive! Hallelujah, Risen Lord,
The only One I fall before
I am His because He is
Emmanuel, the promised King the baby who made angels sing
Son of Man who walked with us, healing, breathing in our dust
The author of all history, the answer to all mysteries
The Lamb of God who rolled away, the stone in front of every grave
Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome;
Death has lost and Love has won
I am His because He is alive.
I am His because He is alive.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Day 44
Tonight, on this Maundy Thursday (sidebar- Maundy is Latin meaning either "new commandment", begging as in alms giving, or washing of feet . . . there are cases for all three meanings, and if you really look at them together, it's a new way of life that Jesus was about to set as the standard for followers of Him. What He's about to go through demonstrates all these things together), my family partook in a Messianic Seder (meaning "order" or "sequence") Passover meal with some dear friends (the Sloans) and their three kids. We had a roast, complete with intact shank, amazing cheesy mashed potatoes, gravy, a spinach craisin salad, and french bread. So so good, even if it wasn't 100% traditional!! We also had the traditional elements like the bitter herbs, the salt water, the Matzah bread, the lighting of candles, the grape juice/wine (with multiple refills), Haroset, and something else I'm forgetting right now. It was great fun reading the texts together and listening to prayers, hearing about the 4 cups, watching the kids search for the Matzah, and just celebrating the Passover and Christ's sacrifice in a tangible way, together as families. During the Seder Meal, Pappy Sloan explained to the families that the Haroset (ground apples, nuts, and honey) symbolized hope. JJ, said (after tasting it on Matzah bread the first time) "Can I have some more of that hope, please." (-:
We had to cut dinner a little short because we were going to attend a Maundy Thursday service at Holy Cross Lutheran Church and didn't want to be late. We arrived, took our seats, and enjoyed a beautiful liturgical service, complete with communion served with real wine! JJ said after communion "wow, I think that was my first time drinking wine, it was pretty sour." We looked at the perspective of Jonah, and how He and God weren't on the same page. Jonah was fine with God's grace when he was the benefactor of it, but he didn't want anything to do with God dispensing it to others (Ninevah). Jesus talked a bit about this in the parable of the wine vineyard and the workers. Some of the workers come on time and work in the field all day, and some of them come at the end of the day but get paid the same. The all day workers think this is unfair. Jesus points out it's the farmers' field to do with as he pleases and pay the agreed upon price to any worker that came to work. It is the same with salvation. Just because we may receive salvation at an earlier age than others or put in our time on this earth serving the Living God, doesn't mean that we get to look down on others who seem to skate in at the last second or who don't seem to deserve it. That ultimate gift of forgiveness and grace is not ours to grant, and it's what Jesus is all about. We need to get on that page!
Jesus' disciples weren't on the same page with Him either. Matthew was a tax collector, James and John were trying to vie for attention and position around Jesus, Peter was unknowingly about to deny Jesus three times though thoroughly confident that could never happen, and Judas was getting set to betray Jesus over to the pharisees. None of that seemed to be on board with God's mission, yet each played a vital role. And then in Romans, Paul talks about how all of us are sinners and fall short of God's glory. So we're in the same boat as Jonah and the disciples. How often do we gush over how God's worked in our lives and then snub our noses at those in our paths that just can't seem to get it together or who are living in sin or who deserve death and destruction? How often do we vie for God's attention over others, cheat and steal in what seems to be a harmless way that may even be part of our job, deny our Lord when it's convenient or we're scared, or flat out betray Him and His work in us by turning back to our sin rather than our God? Are we on the same page as God, or do we get what we want from Him then turn back to our old way of life. Do we really have the full love and long-term dedication to love people like Jesus loved them? Like I said, it was a great service. We enjoyed the powerful message, the liturgical elements, the different format of communion, and not having to lead for the night.
So this week is the culmination of why we observe and discipline and practice this thing called Lent. It's Holy Week. There are deep emotions that Jesus felt this week, and hopefully we can grasp, starting with a seemingly joyful entrance into Jerusalem (though I'm sure the human side of Jesus was truly dreading what was to come), moving to a period of celebration with the Passover, time of fellowship with dear friends, agonizing prayer, betrayal, indescribable pain (emotional, spiritual, and physical), abuse, scorn, mockery, death, and ultimately resurrection. Today Jesus shared His last meal with His disciples (the Passover meal as was tradition), then went to pray in the Garden of Gethsemene while His disciples fell asleep, prayed so fervently that He sweat blood, and then was betrayed and arrested. The rest of this night, Jesus went through more betrayal, denial, anguish, trials, beatings, and judgements. In the morning, when you wake up, remember that Christ was starting the process of a crucifixion . . . the thorns, the cross on a beaten back, the walk, the nails, and the cry of "forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do." Amazing love indeed! I hope that you've been able to experience it fully. If not, there's still more to come, so take the time to engage, reflect, and enjoy what Jesus did on that cross for you!
We had to cut dinner a little short because we were going to attend a Maundy Thursday service at Holy Cross Lutheran Church and didn't want to be late. We arrived, took our seats, and enjoyed a beautiful liturgical service, complete with communion served with real wine! JJ said after communion "wow, I think that was my first time drinking wine, it was pretty sour." We looked at the perspective of Jonah, and how He and God weren't on the same page. Jonah was fine with God's grace when he was the benefactor of it, but he didn't want anything to do with God dispensing it to others (Ninevah). Jesus talked a bit about this in the parable of the wine vineyard and the workers. Some of the workers come on time and work in the field all day, and some of them come at the end of the day but get paid the same. The all day workers think this is unfair. Jesus points out it's the farmers' field to do with as he pleases and pay the agreed upon price to any worker that came to work. It is the same with salvation. Just because we may receive salvation at an earlier age than others or put in our time on this earth serving the Living God, doesn't mean that we get to look down on others who seem to skate in at the last second or who don't seem to deserve it. That ultimate gift of forgiveness and grace is not ours to grant, and it's what Jesus is all about. We need to get on that page!
Jesus' disciples weren't on the same page with Him either. Matthew was a tax collector, James and John were trying to vie for attention and position around Jesus, Peter was unknowingly about to deny Jesus three times though thoroughly confident that could never happen, and Judas was getting set to betray Jesus over to the pharisees. None of that seemed to be on board with God's mission, yet each played a vital role. And then in Romans, Paul talks about how all of us are sinners and fall short of God's glory. So we're in the same boat as Jonah and the disciples. How often do we gush over how God's worked in our lives and then snub our noses at those in our paths that just can't seem to get it together or who are living in sin or who deserve death and destruction? How often do we vie for God's attention over others, cheat and steal in what seems to be a harmless way that may even be part of our job, deny our Lord when it's convenient or we're scared, or flat out betray Him and His work in us by turning back to our sin rather than our God? Are we on the same page as God, or do we get what we want from Him then turn back to our old way of life. Do we really have the full love and long-term dedication to love people like Jesus loved them? Like I said, it was a great service. We enjoyed the powerful message, the liturgical elements, the different format of communion, and not having to lead for the night.
So this week is the culmination of why we observe and discipline and practice this thing called Lent. It's Holy Week. There are deep emotions that Jesus felt this week, and hopefully we can grasp, starting with a seemingly joyful entrance into Jerusalem (though I'm sure the human side of Jesus was truly dreading what was to come), moving to a period of celebration with the Passover, time of fellowship with dear friends, agonizing prayer, betrayal, indescribable pain (emotional, spiritual, and physical), abuse, scorn, mockery, death, and ultimately resurrection. Today Jesus shared His last meal with His disciples (the Passover meal as was tradition), then went to pray in the Garden of Gethsemene while His disciples fell asleep, prayed so fervently that He sweat blood, and then was betrayed and arrested. The rest of this night, Jesus went through more betrayal, denial, anguish, trials, beatings, and judgements. In the morning, when you wake up, remember that Christ was starting the process of a crucifixion . . . the thorns, the cross on a beaten back, the walk, the nails, and the cry of "forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do." Amazing love indeed! I hope that you've been able to experience it fully. If not, there's still more to come, so take the time to engage, reflect, and enjoy what Jesus did on that cross for you!
Day 43
I'm very excited for tomorrow. We get to have a Seder dinner with friends and then go to a contemplative service tomorrow night with another pastor and his family at a church that neither of us go to! We, as families, get to be fed and experience this Holy Week in community. What a gift! I pray that out of the overflow of that, we'll all be able to better serve our own community and also our own churches as we usher others into the presence of God, through conversations, meals, the Stations of the Cross, a reflective Good Friday Service, and ultimately, Easter.
I love that we get to do this as a family, and that my boys get to see first hand their friends' family do it too. I love to see this lifestyle of focusing ourselves around Christ slowly take root in our boys. It's amazing to hear them, totally on their own and with zero prompting from us, come up with things to fast from until Easter this week. Yes, it's not a full Lenten experience, but come on, they're 8 and 5. 6 days is pretty great! I love hearing my boys walk around the house singing "Joyful Joyful . . . I got the joy, I got the joy, I got the joy, I got the joy," and knowing that the reason for that joy is because of what Jesus did! So again, I'm very excited to be sharing this with my boys and with friends, and I pray that we'll steward our time in community together well, we'll be an encouragement to one another, and we'll be able to model and pass on to our kids the value of sharing things of faith with others.
I love that we get to do this as a family, and that my boys get to see first hand their friends' family do it too. I love to see this lifestyle of focusing ourselves around Christ slowly take root in our boys. It's amazing to hear them, totally on their own and with zero prompting from us, come up with things to fast from until Easter this week. Yes, it's not a full Lenten experience, but come on, they're 8 and 5. 6 days is pretty great! I love hearing my boys walk around the house singing "Joyful Joyful . . . I got the joy, I got the joy, I got the joy, I got the joy," and knowing that the reason for that joy is because of what Jesus did! So again, I'm very excited to be sharing this with my boys and with friends, and I pray that we'll steward our time in community together well, we'll be an encouragement to one another, and we'll be able to model and pass on to our kids the value of sharing things of faith with others.
Day 42
"The greatest day in history . . ." That's the beginning line of the song our kids are singing on Easter Sunday. I've been thinking about that line for a month or so now, and I gotta be honest, there are many Christians who are more concerned with Easter eggs and baskets on that day than Jesus conquering a little thing called DEATH. Oh, and with that, saving our lives. It's weird to me. It's baffling that for many many many years, I was the same way. I know everything surrounding Easter is significant and important to all Christians, but honestly from the outside looking in, I'm pretty sure people would think we're more about the candy, egg hunts, and presents than celebrating the death and resurrection of a living God. As long as we sing the right songs, say the right sayings ("He is risen indeed"), maybe even have the right sunrise service, and do our appropriate amount of reflection on what Christ did for us, we call it an amazing Easter service. And while there's nothing inherently wrong with that . . . PEOPLE, WE'RE ALREADY SAVED!!! If this is truly the "greatest day in history," why the heck aren't we spending our day telling others that God is waiting for about it?
I so badly wanted this Easter to look different. I desperately wanted our church to get outside ourselves and serve rather than do the typical Easter routine. Change takes time. I know this and continue to learn. I hope that someday a really old church steeped in tradition can get to the place of hanging out with the least of these on a day that is so great, but for now I can at least help my kids put action into the song they're singing and make it come alive for them and hopefully some others God puts in our path. Because it truly is a "Happy Day!"
I so badly wanted this Easter to look different. I desperately wanted our church to get outside ourselves and serve rather than do the typical Easter routine. Change takes time. I know this and continue to learn. I hope that someday a really old church steeped in tradition can get to the place of hanging out with the least of these on a day that is so great, but for now I can at least help my kids put action into the song they're singing and make it come alive for them and hopefully some others God puts in our path. Because it truly is a "Happy Day!"
Monday, April 2, 2012
Day 40 & 41
Whoops, so I missed a day! Sorry! I was so caught up finishing painting the kitchen that I didn't get to bed till 2 am, and forgot all about this! I'm enjoying my boys and doing some projects and visiting with friends this week since it's spring break, so I'm out of routine. I'm looking forward to celebrating Holy Week all this week, so tomorrow I'll write more about that.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Day 39
Wow, this month has gone by fast, but when I think back to when I started this, it seems like a long time ago. Crazy space time!
So I'm gonna be brief tonight, because it's late and I have to get up early, but today and yesterday have been wonderful testimonies to God's grace! A beautiful baby girl was born yesterday who is going to have a great story. I know this, because at one day old, she already has a great story. Her entire life so far has been surrounded by grace. What a way to enter the world!! And what a joy to be part of that story! As I've painted tonight and had time to reflect, I'm reminded of other kiddos in my life who have had similar beginnings, and I'm just so overwhelmingly grateful for those kids, the parents who chose them, the families that supported them, and the God who created them. I pray that all that come to know these kids and hear their stories will act similarly to Barnabus in Acts 11:23, "When he arrived and saw what the grace of God had done, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts." May we set the example for this kind of behavior and steward the children in our lives well!
So I'm gonna be brief tonight, because it's late and I have to get up early, but today and yesterday have been wonderful testimonies to God's grace! A beautiful baby girl was born yesterday who is going to have a great story. I know this, because at one day old, she already has a great story. Her entire life so far has been surrounded by grace. What a way to enter the world!! And what a joy to be part of that story! As I've painted tonight and had time to reflect, I'm reminded of other kiddos in my life who have had similar beginnings, and I'm just so overwhelmingly grateful for those kids, the parents who chose them, the families that supported them, and the God who created them. I pray that all that come to know these kids and hear their stories will act similarly to Barnabus in Acts 11:23, "When he arrived and saw what the grace of God had done, he was glad and encouraged them all to remain true to the Lord with all their hearts." May we set the example for this kind of behavior and steward the children in our lives well!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Day 37
Tonight we were treated to a Philippino feast! A couple from our church, Jaime and Rosalina, originally from the Philippines, invited our entire family over for dinner and to get to know each other better! It was such a blessing to get to hear their stories, be encouraged with 47 years of marriage and parenting 3 girls, enjoying an AMAZING meal with traditional foods throughout, learn about their benevolent hearts in supporting their families back in the Philippines, talk about hobbies like photography and tailoring, enjoy hearing how all three girls followed in their father's footsteps of working with numbers either in banks or as CPAs, watch them care for and spoil our boys with treats and dessert seconds and genuine interest, learning a bit of Tagalog, and hear their evangelistic hearts. It was a great evening or incredible hospitality and conversation. Oh how I miss regular contact with those in other cultures! There is such a richness in finding commonality amid different upbringings, societal norms, multiple generations, and cultures other than my own. I'm grateful for the opportunities I had to grow up with these experiences, and I'm grateful for the opportunities I now have to expose my boys to the same things. This is an area that I definitely want to steward even better, by seeking cultures and generations and life circumstances other than my own out for the intent of learning and growing and expanding my family's world view. Thank you God for diversity!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Day 36
I've been noticing that we as a culture are becoming numb to hate-filled speech. This came to mind in reading many blogs and reports regarding Travon Martin. I'm not here to talk about the ins and outs of that complex and heart-wrenching case (on both sides). I'm just using it as a recent example of how I've noticed people throw hate-filled speech around without even seeming to notice. In fact, many times people believe it's their duty to correct others and won't stop until the deed is done. Most of where I notice this is on on-line forums, and I wonder if that's part of it . . . the distance that's associated with typing your thoughts out rather than talking face-to-face with someone. I think if faced with another human right in front of you, many words would be held back and the adage of "biting your tongue" would hold more weight.
This is seriously concerning to me. The more it goes on, the more I do find it leaking into face-to-face conversations where people slam others opinions, thoughts, character, and person with very little regard to the damage they're doing, whether in the relationship or emotionally to the other person. Honestly, I think we have become so immune to hate-filled speech (through movies, tv, news, new cultural norms), that we don't even recognize it when it happens and then rationalize it away if someone brings it up. The saddest thing of all to me, is that so often, it's Christians that I find doing this, usually about political issues. It makes me sick. It makes me not want to share an opinion, an emotion, an idea, or offer a different perspective on anything around certain people because of the backlash of hate that will spew from their mouths. And so, therefore, I don't.
I wonder how people who do this and hold firm to the Word of God reconcile the verse "Do not let any unwholesome (rotten, unfit for use, poor quality) talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building (making suitable for God) others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29. Another version states it this way: "Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them". If people want to be heard, they need to earn the right to be heard, and they need to get their point across without degrading and slamming the person whom they're trying to communicate with. Too often, though, we're becoming a people hold on to their pride, stay bent on "being right", and ruin either a relationship or an opportunity to be used by God. Please let's not become people like this! Help me steward this area of life well!
This is seriously concerning to me. The more it goes on, the more I do find it leaking into face-to-face conversations where people slam others opinions, thoughts, character, and person with very little regard to the damage they're doing, whether in the relationship or emotionally to the other person. Honestly, I think we have become so immune to hate-filled speech (through movies, tv, news, new cultural norms), that we don't even recognize it when it happens and then rationalize it away if someone brings it up. The saddest thing of all to me, is that so often, it's Christians that I find doing this, usually about political issues. It makes me sick. It makes me not want to share an opinion, an emotion, an idea, or offer a different perspective on anything around certain people because of the backlash of hate that will spew from their mouths. And so, therefore, I don't.
I wonder how people who do this and hold firm to the Word of God reconcile the verse "Do not let any unwholesome (rotten, unfit for use, poor quality) talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building (making suitable for God) others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" Ephesians 4:29. Another version states it this way: "Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them". If people want to be heard, they need to earn the right to be heard, and they need to get their point across without degrading and slamming the person whom they're trying to communicate with. Too often, though, we're becoming a people hold on to their pride, stay bent on "being right", and ruin either a relationship or an opportunity to be used by God. Please let's not become people like this! Help me steward this area of life well!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Day 35
So I'm having a conversation with Sam today about how Tuesdays are his worst days all week. (this is a new thing since he learned he has to do the year end gymnastics show, and gymnastics in on tuesdays). So we have "the talk" AGAIN, and it ends up in him stomping up stairs after I ask him to go get dressed for the day. I hear yelling and stomping and things slamming around. Lovely. So I calmly go up and let him know this isn't appropriate for an 8 year old, but rather a 2 year old.
Me: "Do you think throwing a tantrum will make anything better?"
Sam: "No".
Me: "Is this how you see your dad handle situations like this?"
Sam: "It's how I've seen you handle them sometimes."
Me: (feeling deep shame and remorse . . . Awesome). "Well, that's why I asked if it's how you see YOUR DAD handle these situations. I know I don't always handle them great, and I obviously still have growing up to do in this area too Sam. I'm sorry you had to see me act out like a two year old at times too. This is why we both look to daddy at how to handle ourselves when we're scared and mad. He does it better than us."
And that's how I started my day. The good news is it only went up from there. So, do I steward my feelings and disappointments well?? Obviously not in front of my 8 year old!! But thankfully I do steward admitting my faults well (i.e. blogging my sins for all the world to see)! Oh boy, am I a work in progress. Though it's humiliating, I am thankful for the opportunity to be very real with my son and show him first hand how his mom is daily in need of forgiveness and grace and a Savior!
Me: "Do you think throwing a tantrum will make anything better?"
Sam: "No".
Me: "Is this how you see your dad handle situations like this?"
Sam: "It's how I've seen you handle them sometimes."
Me: (feeling deep shame and remorse . . . Awesome). "Well, that's why I asked if it's how you see YOUR DAD handle these situations. I know I don't always handle them great, and I obviously still have growing up to do in this area too Sam. I'm sorry you had to see me act out like a two year old at times too. This is why we both look to daddy at how to handle ourselves when we're scared and mad. He does it better than us."
And that's how I started my day. The good news is it only went up from there. So, do I steward my feelings and disappointments well?? Obviously not in front of my 8 year old!! But thankfully I do steward admitting my faults well (i.e. blogging my sins for all the world to see)! Oh boy, am I a work in progress. Though it's humiliating, I am thankful for the opportunity to be very real with my son and show him first hand how his mom is daily in need of forgiveness and grace and a Savior!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Day 34
I have a serious love/hate relationship with technology. I love the ease and convenience it brings to normal everyday life, as well as the ability to bring people together, but I also really hate the whole new set of rules one must learn to navigate, manage, and keep up with, not to mention the new terms of social etiquette, lack of human contact, and lure of addiction that it brings.
I love being able to shoot off an e-mail, but I hate that I rarely get or give anything in the mail now besides junk or bills. I like that with a letter, the expectation is to receive a response back in a week or two (which allows for processing and thoughtful response), whereas with an e-mail, text, or social media, if you don't give a response within a day, hour, or even minutes, it comes across as if you're blowing people off (and often end up offering opinions in which you've not given ample time to think on). Those statements run the risk of becoming more about expressing rapid-fire opinions due to pressure rather than maintaining the relationship that actually means something.
More kids get grounded from their "media" than anything these days. What ever happened to being grounded from friends? Now it's like we hope and pray our kids would rather want to be with their friends than a videogameipodphone so we do everything we can to promote those friendships and hold the media hostage for disobedience. Which shows where their hearts are, in machines rather than souls.
We get frustrated that the generations coming up struggle focusing, don't know how to interact properly with others, don't make eye contact, don't know how to deal with conflict and work through problems, and prefer spending their time with machines than with people. And yet, we're making them that way. Whether it's because of our schedules that are too busy, a lack of interest in investing in them, using the television/iphone/portable dvd players for a babysitter, or giving them every media under the sun that comes out with the latest and greatest gadget, gizmo, graphic, or sound, we are actively teaching the next generation that this is an okay way to exist.
And again, where do they learn this? From mom and dad who are endlessly on media; whether it's facebook, e-mail, checking sport stats, watching "amazing" youtube videos, texting, on the phone, watching tv, installing dvd players/cable in every nook and cranny conceivable, doing school, pinetristing, playing games, downloading new apps, etc. etc. etc. . . These things in and of themselves aren't bad, but we're a generation that didn't necessarily grow up with all this as our norm. For the most part, we know the limits, for we've known another way of life. But do our kids? Or is this craziness the new norm? Please Lord, let it not be so! I believe we don't have a clue to the ramifications this new era will present.
So in terms of do I steward this area of my life well or not . . . yes and no. I'm definitely on the computer WAY TOO MUCH! I've resisted fancy phones and data packages because I know they'd just feed that addiction, both of mine and my kids. Plus, I'd rather spend my money on other things. We very much regulate video game and tv time, but often spend much of our "free" time (though it's few and far between) in front of the tv rather than doing more interesting family things. I don't model well not being pressured to get "projects" done. I text regularly throughout the day, which may in a sense be better than being on the phone all day, but it's still a distraction, especially for a homeschooling family, and I need to learn to silence the phone. I know there's more, but it's obvious to see there's tons of room for improvement here. So, perhaps after Lent, we'll go on a media fast.
I love being able to shoot off an e-mail, but I hate that I rarely get or give anything in the mail now besides junk or bills. I like that with a letter, the expectation is to receive a response back in a week or two (which allows for processing and thoughtful response), whereas with an e-mail, text, or social media, if you don't give a response within a day, hour, or even minutes, it comes across as if you're blowing people off (and often end up offering opinions in which you've not given ample time to think on). Those statements run the risk of becoming more about expressing rapid-fire opinions due to pressure rather than maintaining the relationship that actually means something.
More kids get grounded from their "media" than anything these days. What ever happened to being grounded from friends? Now it's like we hope and pray our kids would rather want to be with their friends than a videogameipodphone so we do everything we can to promote those friendships and hold the media hostage for disobedience. Which shows where their hearts are, in machines rather than souls.
We get frustrated that the generations coming up struggle focusing, don't know how to interact properly with others, don't make eye contact, don't know how to deal with conflict and work through problems, and prefer spending their time with machines than with people. And yet, we're making them that way. Whether it's because of our schedules that are too busy, a lack of interest in investing in them, using the television/iphone/portable dvd players for a babysitter, or giving them every media under the sun that comes out with the latest and greatest gadget, gizmo, graphic, or sound, we are actively teaching the next generation that this is an okay way to exist.
And again, where do they learn this? From mom and dad who are endlessly on media; whether it's facebook, e-mail, checking sport stats, watching "amazing" youtube videos, texting, on the phone, watching tv, installing dvd players/cable in every nook and cranny conceivable, doing school, pinetristing, playing games, downloading new apps, etc. etc. etc. . . These things in and of themselves aren't bad, but we're a generation that didn't necessarily grow up with all this as our norm. For the most part, we know the limits, for we've known another way of life. But do our kids? Or is this craziness the new norm? Please Lord, let it not be so! I believe we don't have a clue to the ramifications this new era will present.
So in terms of do I steward this area of my life well or not . . . yes and no. I'm definitely on the computer WAY TOO MUCH! I've resisted fancy phones and data packages because I know they'd just feed that addiction, both of mine and my kids. Plus, I'd rather spend my money on other things. We very much regulate video game and tv time, but often spend much of our "free" time (though it's few and far between) in front of the tv rather than doing more interesting family things. I don't model well not being pressured to get "projects" done. I text regularly throughout the day, which may in a sense be better than being on the phone all day, but it's still a distraction, especially for a homeschooling family, and I need to learn to silence the phone. I know there's more, but it's obvious to see there's tons of room for improvement here. So, perhaps after Lent, we'll go on a media fast.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Day 33
Well, I made it through this week! And though I had physical reactions to all the busy (i.e. two migraines), emotionally I can honestly say I totally relied on God and wasn't super anxious when it all came down to whatever it was I had going on! YEA!!
I am excited that it's only 7:46 and I'm working on this post, and that after that, I get to snuggle up in my pj's and read in bed! Sometimes I get so driven by ___________ (fill in the blank) project, that I forget or feel like I can't just "be". Life's too dang short to just rush rush rush, and it seems that's what we (as in James and Abby) always do. I'm pretty sure this isn't the first post like this that I've written this season, which means, I have a problem with the relaxing bit. I will say, it has gotten better over the last year, but marginally. It's not that I don't steward my time well, because I really believe I do, but more that I am just too involved in things. And honestly, I don't know what to cut out. I've cut back on a lot of things, especially things that aren't life-giving but only draining. So though I'm still busy, the things I fill my time up with are things that I truly enjoy or I can give back to and where I'm using my gifts. But it's still too much. So, I'll continue seeking what needs to be trimmed and put off for another season, but until then, I'm going to get off this here computer and go read a book!
I am excited that it's only 7:46 and I'm working on this post, and that after that, I get to snuggle up in my pj's and read in bed! Sometimes I get so driven by ___________ (fill in the blank) project, that I forget or feel like I can't just "be". Life's too dang short to just rush rush rush, and it seems that's what we (as in James and Abby) always do. I'm pretty sure this isn't the first post like this that I've written this season, which means, I have a problem with the relaxing bit. I will say, it has gotten better over the last year, but marginally. It's not that I don't steward my time well, because I really believe I do, but more that I am just too involved in things. And honestly, I don't know what to cut out. I've cut back on a lot of things, especially things that aren't life-giving but only draining. So though I'm still busy, the things I fill my time up with are things that I truly enjoy or I can give back to and where I'm using my gifts. But it's still too much. So, I'll continue seeking what needs to be trimmed and put off for another season, but until then, I'm going to get off this here computer and go read a book!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Day 32
Enjoyable day with the family and hubs! Blessed the boys are growing and have great friends to have sleepovers with! Grateful for time with James talking, eating, and relaxing in front of a movie together. Movie of the night: Whistleblower. May have to work on our date movies, but it was another great film showing the atrocities of human trafficking, specifically in the sex trade. Which brings me to my point. Americans don't steward this issue well at all. There finally is some recognition of it, but not near enough. It almost seems to me that we have to personally know someone or something before we feel it worthwhile to get involved.
I can definitely say I'm much more educated on the issue than I was a year ago, with going to vigils, inviting an anti-human trafficking spokesman to our church, watching movies (Hollywood and documentaries), wearing a t-shirt in a big race, and doing just basic research. But to what end? For one who has sexual abuse in my past, what goes on in our world, in our country, in our state, and yes Spokane, even in our city, this makes me literally quite sick. I'm so grateful that I'm part of a church and denomination where bringing attention and working to actively fight this evil is made a priority. But I want even more. I know it takes time, and the big focus now is on raising awareness and education.
So I ask, am I doing my part? Am I involved enough? I want to get involved even more. I want others to get involved even more, because whether we like it or not, we're part of this world, and as humans, and especially as Christians, we need to stand up for justice and defend basic human rights. This can be carried over to many different issues (abortion, adoption, hunger, clean water, fighting poverty, homelessness, ______________ fill in the blank for basic human needs), and I'm grateful God has given people different passions and burdens, otherwise we'd all just focus on the same one. So please, if you are burdened for something, educate and act. And I beg you, don't let me just sit here and leave it with "well that was a good movie." I may not be able to change the problem, but if God' calling me to do something, I don't get a free pass on obedience just because the problem seemed to big.
I can definitely say I'm much more educated on the issue than I was a year ago, with going to vigils, inviting an anti-human trafficking spokesman to our church, watching movies (Hollywood and documentaries), wearing a t-shirt in a big race, and doing just basic research. But to what end? For one who has sexual abuse in my past, what goes on in our world, in our country, in our state, and yes Spokane, even in our city, this makes me literally quite sick. I'm so grateful that I'm part of a church and denomination where bringing attention and working to actively fight this evil is made a priority. But I want even more. I know it takes time, and the big focus now is on raising awareness and education.
So I ask, am I doing my part? Am I involved enough? I want to get involved even more. I want others to get involved even more, because whether we like it or not, we're part of this world, and as humans, and especially as Christians, we need to stand up for justice and defend basic human rights. This can be carried over to many different issues (abortion, adoption, hunger, clean water, fighting poverty, homelessness, ______________ fill in the blank for basic human needs), and I'm grateful God has given people different passions and burdens, otherwise we'd all just focus on the same one. So please, if you are burdened for something, educate and act. And I beg you, don't let me just sit here and leave it with "well that was a good movie." I may not be able to change the problem, but if God' calling me to do something, I don't get a free pass on obedience just because the problem seemed to big.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Day 30
Yea! Only 10 more days(ish) of writing! It's not that I don't like writing, b/c I actually really love it, but by the time I actually get around to doing it, I'm exhausted.
Today I was thinking on how much I desire some alone time and some time with my hubby. And yet, all day I was surrounded by people, one of them barely being my husband (meaning we were in the same room for a short time and that was about it). There are times in relationships where you just need to recharge, and I'm at that place with myself and with him. The good news is I know that we'll get some of that recharge this weekend, starting tomorrow, so that makes me happy, but I don't like getting to the point where I feel this disconnected. I had a hard time all day today just gathering my own thoughts much less concentrating on other peoples. I knew this week was gonna be a busy one, and that there is an end in sight. It is a good reminder to me though to make sure that this doesn't become my norm again, b/c not too long ago, it was. So, I leave today feeling the need to steward my time better, especially in terms of taking care of myself and having time to connect with James (dang seminary). I don't want the things I do to be squandered away b/c I didn't have the focus or attention I needed to do them well.
Today I was thinking on how much I desire some alone time and some time with my hubby. And yet, all day I was surrounded by people, one of them barely being my husband (meaning we were in the same room for a short time and that was about it). There are times in relationships where you just need to recharge, and I'm at that place with myself and with him. The good news is I know that we'll get some of that recharge this weekend, starting tomorrow, so that makes me happy, but I don't like getting to the point where I feel this disconnected. I had a hard time all day today just gathering my own thoughts much less concentrating on other peoples. I knew this week was gonna be a busy one, and that there is an end in sight. It is a good reminder to me though to make sure that this doesn't become my norm again, b/c not too long ago, it was. So, I leave today feeling the need to steward my time better, especially in terms of taking care of myself and having time to connect with James (dang seminary). I don't want the things I do to be squandered away b/c I didn't have the focus or attention I needed to do them well.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Day 29
God has been speaking to me through this Psalm over the last 9 months in an incredible way, so I want to share it. There is so much hope and love in this Psalm that reminds me of who I belong to, who is fighting for my soul, and what actions I need to take in obedience.
Psalm 51
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the womb,
teaching me wisdom even there.
7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
9 Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that my mouth may praise you.
16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—
with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings.
Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.
Psalm 51
1 Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
2 Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
3 For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
4 Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.
5 For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
6 But you desire honesty from the womb,
teaching me wisdom even there.
7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
9 Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
and they will return to you.
14 Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
15 Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that my mouth may praise you.
16 You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
17 The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
18 Look with favor on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—
with burnt offerings and whole burnt offerings.
Then bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Day 28
It's funny how opportunities come along. Sometimes you plan for things, and they happen just like you expected. But sometimes, something else happens entirely- often good, sometimes bad, occasionally it doesn't matter. I had no idea at this time last year that I would have lost 53 pounds 1 year later. I really didn't believe I'd be engaged as much as I am in teaching multiple voice/music classes and giving voice lessons again. There are things with James' job, our church, our family, that we could not have planned on taking place this year. At this time last year, I never thought seminary would EVER end for us! I had no idea how much our kids would have grown, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I had no idea about pineterest. I had no idea I might be considering going back to work. I had no idea I'd be in such a great small group with people I really really love. I had no idea that this last year my best friend would go through one of the hardest things she's ever had to go through in caring for and letting go of her dad, and how I'd need to learn how it has forever altered her. I had no idea I might be considering putting our boys on a gymnastics team. I had no idea we'd walk a journey of new life with a family that we adore. I had no idea my only aunt left would be struck with breast cancer. I had no idea how much my mother-in-law would still be fighting this battle with Lyme's disease. I looked forward to trips, but had no idea the toll they'd take or the wonderful lessons and memories made on them. I had no idea we'd go from 2 dogs to 3 and then to 2 and finish with 1. I couldn't guess that I'd spend Christmas with my best friend eating seafood rather than having a traditional Christmas with family. I had no idea a book was coming out that would really affirm the way I think about things. And the list could go on and on . . .
I know so many people who say they wish God spoke today like He did to the Israelites, and they wish we could see His presence as tangibly and openly as they did back then, with a cloud and pillar of fire. And I'm not gonna lie and say I've never been on that bandwagon! But I do have to say that I have come to enjoy the mystery of God, and how He chooses to work in our lives. I mean yes, it can be crazy frustrating at times, but there's something to be said for a God who totally has control over things and truly, madly, deeply has the best in mind for you because He loves you perfectly. It means we get to relax and just enjoy what He brings our way. We can aspire to really learn and apply rather than plan and control. We can bask and glow in real genuine love rather than fret and perform for attention that doesn't last. We can stretch and grow without fear of rejection and isolation, at least from God! What a remarkable gift! I think without the Holy Spirit moving in our lives, thus having less mystery, we'd still be secure, but not near as free. We'd be bound up by laws and rules, and pillars and clouds. I want to really live in that freedom. After 35 years, I think I just may be beginning to see the steps of how. So I'll keep making plans, but may God continue to interrupt them for His own desire to make me who He created me to be. May I steward this verse well:
"You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail." Psalm 19:21
I know so many people who say they wish God spoke today like He did to the Israelites, and they wish we could see His presence as tangibly and openly as they did back then, with a cloud and pillar of fire. And I'm not gonna lie and say I've never been on that bandwagon! But I do have to say that I have come to enjoy the mystery of God, and how He chooses to work in our lives. I mean yes, it can be crazy frustrating at times, but there's something to be said for a God who totally has control over things and truly, madly, deeply has the best in mind for you because He loves you perfectly. It means we get to relax and just enjoy what He brings our way. We can aspire to really learn and apply rather than plan and control. We can bask and glow in real genuine love rather than fret and perform for attention that doesn't last. We can stretch and grow without fear of rejection and isolation, at least from God! What a remarkable gift! I think without the Holy Spirit moving in our lives, thus having less mystery, we'd still be secure, but not near as free. We'd be bound up by laws and rules, and pillars and clouds. I want to really live in that freedom. After 35 years, I think I just may be beginning to see the steps of how. So I'll keep making plans, but may God continue to interrupt them for His own desire to make me who He created me to be. May I steward this verse well:
"You can make many plans, but the LORD’s purpose will prevail." Psalm 19:21
Monday, March 19, 2012
Day 27
Lots of sickies in my house . . . again . . . ready for us all to be well for longer than a month. Wondering what's causing it all. Lack of sleep is part of it, so off I go to bed. Cop out you may think, but alas, you're not sick!
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Day 26
So I'm beginning this week feeling completely overwhelmed and wanting to crawl in a hole. I have many new things starting this week, all of them in a leading capacity, which causes me to turn into a blubbering anxious idiot! You know how Moses stuttered around and felt totally inadequate to lead . . . ditto! Stupid. I hate that at 35 I still get butterflies, question my abilities and gifts, get insecure, and fear rejection. 1 Peter 5:7 says, "Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you," and Philippians 4:6 says "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done." I guess this week will be living proof of whether I steward these truths and instructions well.
ps- gee, i wonder where sam gets it. yea for genetics (sarcasm).
ps- gee, i wonder where sam gets it. yea for genetics (sarcasm).
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Day 25
Happy St. Patrick's Day! One thing I love about the Catholic church is their knowledge and appreciation of the saints. As Christians, we don't really know too much about the ancient saints of our faith, and those we do, it's pretty selective. Obviously the saints in the Bible are of utmost importance and should receive a lot of attention, but I think we're remiss if we only focus our attention there, at least from a historical perspective. I studied many of these people while studying history of Christianity, but have forgotten much of what I learned. I want to steward my faith's history better by learning about the saints of old and integrating the lessons they have to offer into my life. Since today lends itself naturally to St. Patrick, I'll start with him. If you've never heard the story of him, you'll read it below:
"Before all the festivities focused on shamrocks and leprechauns and good luck wishes, there was truly something to celebrate: a man willing to stand in the gap for Jesus Christ. Reporter David Kithcart reveals the inspiring true story behind this courageous and fervent Irishman we all know as Saint Patrick.
It was an act of defiance that changed the course of a nation. Patrick lit a fire in pagan 5th century Ireland, ushering Christianity into the country. Who was this man who became the patron saint of Ireland?
Ireland was a beautiful island shrouded in terrible darkness. Warlords and druids ruled the land. But across the sea in Britain, a teen-ager was poised to bring this nation to God.
"Patrick was born into a Christian family," says Philip Freeman, author of St. Patrick of Ireland. "His father was a deacon; his grandfather a priest. But Patrick says that from a n early age, he didn't have any serious interest in religion and that he was pratically an atheist when he was a teenager."
Around 400 A.D., Patrick was abducted from his village and thrown onto a slave ship headed for Ireland.
"He saw that as God chastising him, first of all," says Rev. Sean Brady. "That was the first view. He says we deserved what we got. We're carried at 16 years of age over to this foreign land."
Patrick was sold to a chieftain named Milchu. He spent six years tending his master's flocks on the slopes of the Slemish Mountain. Patrick recounts his time as a slave in his memoir entitled The Confession.
"He says, 'I prayed a hundred times in the day and almost as many at night,' " says Rev. Brady, the Roman Catholic Archbiship of Armagh and Primate of All of Ireland. "Through that experience of prayer and trial, he came to know another God -- God the Father, who was his protector. He came to know Jesus Christ in those sufferings, and he came to be united with Christ and he came to identify with Christ, and then of course, also the Holy Spirit."
One night during a time of prayer and fasting, Patrick wrote: "I heard in my sleep a voice saying to me: 'It is well that you fast. Soon you will go to your own country.' And again, after a short while, I heard a voice saying to me: 'See, your ship is ready.' "
Patrick escaped and traveled 200 miles cross country to the west coast. He found a ship ready to sail, but was refused passage. After a desperate prayer, he was allowed aboard.
Patrick eventually returned to his home and family. His experience of God's grace and provision solidified his faith. He began to study for the ministry.
Freeman says, "One night, he had a dream. Thee was a man who came from Ireland with a whole bunch of letters. And he opened up one of the letters and it said 'The Voice of the Irish.' And then he heard a voice coming out of this letter that said, 'Holy boy, please return to us. We need you.'"
Patrick struggled in his soul. Could he return to Ireland and minister to the same people who had enslaved him? Once again, he turned to God in prayer. He received the answer in a dream.
"He talks about how he, in this dream, is trying to pray and yet he can't," says Freeman. "So he hears a voice coming from inside of him which he realizes is the voice of God praying for him."
Patrick knew he had to go and convince his church that he was called to be a missionary to Ireland. He set sail in a small ship.
Patrick landed at the mouth of the Slaney River. When Patrick set foot on this shore, a new era dawned on this island.
"The Ireland of his day really wasn't much different from the Ireland of a few years ago here where we are sitting here at this moment," notes Most Reverend Dr. Robert Eames, Church of England Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of all Ireland. "It was an Ireland of tribalism, an Ireland of war, an Ireland of suspicion, an Ireland of violence and death. Here he came as a virtual stranger to this country of warring factions."
"They worshipped multiple gods of the sky and the earth and the water," says Freeman. "And so that was his first challenge: to convince the Irish that there was only one God and that his God really did love them."
Patrick came face to face with the chieftains and their druid priests. The showdown came on the morning of his first Easter in Ireland.
Monsignor Raymond Murray, parish priest of Cookstown in Northern Ireland explains further: "Part of the pagan worship of fall to spring, from the beginning of the summer, was that a fire was lit, and first of all, the fire on the hill of Tara and no other lights at all in Ireland."
This monastery on the hill of Slane is where Patrick -- in direct defiance of the high king of Tara -- lit a forbidden fire.
Notes Rev. Brady, "He was summoned before the king, and he explained that he wasn't a threat, because he was bringing the new light, the light of Christ, the Savior of the world, the Light of the world."
"The first light of Easter day was dawning. Patrick brought the hope of Easter day to Ireland," says Rev. Eames.
The weather can be absolutely brutal here in Ireland. But just imagine how it must've been for Patrick in the 5th century as he trekked across the countryside bringing the Gospel to the pagan Celts.
"People sometimes made fun of him because he said that God often gave him a message there was danger ahead," says Freeman. "But, he said, 'Laugh at me if you will. This is something that has protected me in Ireland.'"
Listen to Patrick's poem of faith and trust in God, "The Breastplate":
"Christ be within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ inquired, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger."
Myths and legends have grown up around this hero of Ireland.
As Monsignor Murray explains, it is sometimes difficult to describe the triune aspect of God. So, according to the story, to better illustrate the central teaching of the trinity, Patrick took a shamrock and pointed out the three leaves on it. Interestingly, it is only in Ireland that you find this shamrock. Therefore, the people believed.
"One of the famous legends, of course, is that Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland," says Irish historian Harold Calvert.
In fact, any snakes in Ireland had disappeared during the Ice Age.
"The legend about the driving of the snakes may, in fact, really symbolize the driving out of evil," says Calvert.
In 432 A.D., Patrick built a church on the site of the present day St. Patrick's Memorial Church in Saul -- the first ever Christian church in all of Ireland. It's considered the cradle of Irish Christianity.
"Preaching the Gospel, of course, baptizing converts, confirming them, appointing clergy," continues Calvert.
Patrick's ministry lasted 29 years. He baptized over 120,000 Irishmen and planted 300 churches.
"What Patrick did was really lay the groundwork for Christianity," says Freeman.
To this day, no one knows where Patrick is buried, but many believe that it is somewhere beneath the church on the hill at Down Cathedral.
Rev. Sean Brady concludes, "He was a man who came to face and help his former enemies who had enslaved him. He came back to help them and to do them a great favor -- the greatest favor he possibly could."
Rev. Earnes concurs, "I honestly feel that what Patrick taught Ireland was that there is a cost to discipleship, but it's a cost worth paying. And I believe, to bring this right up to date, the church of St. Patrick must be constantly saying to people, 'Discipleship demands of you, but it's a cost that Christ will help you to pay.'"
"Before all the festivities focused on shamrocks and leprechauns and good luck wishes, there was truly something to celebrate: a man willing to stand in the gap for Jesus Christ. Reporter David Kithcart reveals the inspiring true story behind this courageous and fervent Irishman we all know as Saint Patrick.
It was an act of defiance that changed the course of a nation. Patrick lit a fire in pagan 5th century Ireland, ushering Christianity into the country. Who was this man who became the patron saint of Ireland?
Ireland was a beautiful island shrouded in terrible darkness. Warlords and druids ruled the land. But across the sea in Britain, a teen-ager was poised to bring this nation to God.
"Patrick was born into a Christian family," says Philip Freeman, author of St. Patrick of Ireland. "His father was a deacon; his grandfather a priest. But Patrick says that from a n early age, he didn't have any serious interest in religion and that he was pratically an atheist when he was a teenager."
Around 400 A.D., Patrick was abducted from his village and thrown onto a slave ship headed for Ireland.
"He saw that as God chastising him, first of all," says Rev. Sean Brady. "That was the first view. He says we deserved what we got. We're carried at 16 years of age over to this foreign land."
Patrick was sold to a chieftain named Milchu. He spent six years tending his master's flocks on the slopes of the Slemish Mountain. Patrick recounts his time as a slave in his memoir entitled The Confession.
"He says, 'I prayed a hundred times in the day and almost as many at night,' " says Rev. Brady, the Roman Catholic Archbiship of Armagh and Primate of All of Ireland. "Through that experience of prayer and trial, he came to know another God -- God the Father, who was his protector. He came to know Jesus Christ in those sufferings, and he came to be united with Christ and he came to identify with Christ, and then of course, also the Holy Spirit."
One night during a time of prayer and fasting, Patrick wrote: "I heard in my sleep a voice saying to me: 'It is well that you fast. Soon you will go to your own country.' And again, after a short while, I heard a voice saying to me: 'See, your ship is ready.' "
Patrick escaped and traveled 200 miles cross country to the west coast. He found a ship ready to sail, but was refused passage. After a desperate prayer, he was allowed aboard.
Patrick eventually returned to his home and family. His experience of God's grace and provision solidified his faith. He began to study for the ministry.
Freeman says, "One night, he had a dream. Thee was a man who came from Ireland with a whole bunch of letters. And he opened up one of the letters and it said 'The Voice of the Irish.' And then he heard a voice coming out of this letter that said, 'Holy boy, please return to us. We need you.'"
Patrick struggled in his soul. Could he return to Ireland and minister to the same people who had enslaved him? Once again, he turned to God in prayer. He received the answer in a dream.
"He talks about how he, in this dream, is trying to pray and yet he can't," says Freeman. "So he hears a voice coming from inside of him which he realizes is the voice of God praying for him."
Patrick knew he had to go and convince his church that he was called to be a missionary to Ireland. He set sail in a small ship.
Patrick landed at the mouth of the Slaney River. When Patrick set foot on this shore, a new era dawned on this island.
"The Ireland of his day really wasn't much different from the Ireland of a few years ago here where we are sitting here at this moment," notes Most Reverend Dr. Robert Eames, Church of England Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of all Ireland. "It was an Ireland of tribalism, an Ireland of war, an Ireland of suspicion, an Ireland of violence and death. Here he came as a virtual stranger to this country of warring factions."
"They worshipped multiple gods of the sky and the earth and the water," says Freeman. "And so that was his first challenge: to convince the Irish that there was only one God and that his God really did love them."
Patrick came face to face with the chieftains and their druid priests. The showdown came on the morning of his first Easter in Ireland.
Monsignor Raymond Murray, parish priest of Cookstown in Northern Ireland explains further: "Part of the pagan worship of fall to spring, from the beginning of the summer, was that a fire was lit, and first of all, the fire on the hill of Tara and no other lights at all in Ireland."
This monastery on the hill of Slane is where Patrick -- in direct defiance of the high king of Tara -- lit a forbidden fire.
Notes Rev. Brady, "He was summoned before the king, and he explained that he wasn't a threat, because he was bringing the new light, the light of Christ, the Savior of the world, the Light of the world."
"The first light of Easter day was dawning. Patrick brought the hope of Easter day to Ireland," says Rev. Eames.
The weather can be absolutely brutal here in Ireland. But just imagine how it must've been for Patrick in the 5th century as he trekked across the countryside bringing the Gospel to the pagan Celts.
"People sometimes made fun of him because he said that God often gave him a message there was danger ahead," says Freeman. "But, he said, 'Laugh at me if you will. This is something that has protected me in Ireland.'"
Listen to Patrick's poem of faith and trust in God, "The Breastplate":
"Christ be within me, Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ inquired, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger."
Myths and legends have grown up around this hero of Ireland.
As Monsignor Murray explains, it is sometimes difficult to describe the triune aspect of God. So, according to the story, to better illustrate the central teaching of the trinity, Patrick took a shamrock and pointed out the three leaves on it. Interestingly, it is only in Ireland that you find this shamrock. Therefore, the people believed.
"One of the famous legends, of course, is that Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland," says Irish historian Harold Calvert.
In fact, any snakes in Ireland had disappeared during the Ice Age.
"The legend about the driving of the snakes may, in fact, really symbolize the driving out of evil," says Calvert.
In 432 A.D., Patrick built a church on the site of the present day St. Patrick's Memorial Church in Saul -- the first ever Christian church in all of Ireland. It's considered the cradle of Irish Christianity.
"Preaching the Gospel, of course, baptizing converts, confirming them, appointing clergy," continues Calvert.
Patrick's ministry lasted 29 years. He baptized over 120,000 Irishmen and planted 300 churches.
"What Patrick did was really lay the groundwork for Christianity," says Freeman.
To this day, no one knows where Patrick is buried, but many believe that it is somewhere beneath the church on the hill at Down Cathedral.
Rev. Sean Brady concludes, "He was a man who came to face and help his former enemies who had enslaved him. He came back to help them and to do them a great favor -- the greatest favor he possibly could."
Rev. Earnes concurs, "I honestly feel that what Patrick taught Ireland was that there is a cost to discipleship, but it's a cost worth paying. And I believe, to bring this right up to date, the church of St. Patrick must be constantly saying to people, 'Discipleship demands of you, but it's a cost that Christ will help you to pay.'"
Friday, March 16, 2012
Day 23
So, a lesson in stewarding time well . . . or not so well. I should have written this last night and gone to bed, but instead I watched a really dumb movie. What a waste of time. So sorry for the lateness. But I'm the one who really missed out . . . on sleep, on enrichment, and on brain cells.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Day 22
Living by the Spirit’s Power . . . that's the topic for today.
"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.
When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another."
Well then. Thank God that cross with Jesus on it was included in the last paragraph, and, as if that wasn't enough, He also gave us a TOTALLY undeserved gift of the Spirit to lead us, guide us, and direct us. Cause otherwise, WE'D BE SCREWED!! Sorry if that language offends you, but really, it's the tamest words that adequately describe where we'd be without Jesus dying on the cross for us. I seriously wonder if anyone allows the Holy Spirit to control them! You just read the list produced by the sinful nature, and I can't think of one person who doesn't struggle with this on a daily basis, including me. Let's see, just today I had to deal with envy, division, outbursts of anger, dissension, quarreling, and impurity, and all that was just before noon. See, it NEVER goes away. Did I act on all those? No, but they were right there just waiting for me, and honestly, it wasn't a big struggle or surprise when they showed up. Sadly, I did act on some of them. So OBVIOUSLY I have not given the Holy Spirit full control. It's that "I don't do what I want to do, and I do what I don't want to do" thing that Paul talks about all over the book of Romans. ARGHHH!!! It requires a second by second commitment, and a keen awareness of what my thoughts and actions are, and obediently turning them over to the Spirit as soon as they enter my awareness.
I think so often we get focused on the "fruits of the Spirit" in our lives (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, and we think that since some of these exist, or we displayed that particular trait that one time, that we're in the clear and got the Spirit controlling us thing covered. And probably, that one time, yes, we got out of the way to let the Spirit work. But one or two or fifty times isn't enough. I want that to be my lifestyle . . . always. As "redeemed" Christians (including me), we so easily forget the sin that once entangled us and are quick to point the sin out in others, that we don't even realize that by doing that, we're going right back to our own sinful natures. It's a cycle that goes round and round and round. And we shouldn't be surprised by it. These verses tell us that "these two forces (Spirit and flesh) are constantly fighting each other".
I also think that the lines at the end of the chapter are often neglected: "let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another." I don't know why, but we Christians have a tendency to do this, not only to non-believers, but to each other . . . in the worst way. We look down on other churches. We question motives. We spread rumors, not intentionally, but because we don't stop them. When we hear testimony, we question whether it's legit. We almost require a 10-step hoop-jumping circus before we believe God is actually at work in people's lives. But we expect people to believe He's at work in our own at the drop of a hat. It's weird. It's shameful. It's fleshy. And it's all over me. I want to live in freedom. Others want to live in freedom. Christ died to set us all free.
If we're serious about being controlled by the Spirit, we've got to practice not doing these things. And it won't be easy. In fact, what will be easy is cutting, crippling, judging, and paralyzing. Giving life, hope, and encouragement, and freedom is the hardest thing there is. That's why Jesus asked it to be taken from Him. He knew what it would cost Him. Not just anyone can do it. Only those who intentionally, purposefully, obediently, and daily seek to be transformed from the inside out by the Spirit of a Holy God, will be able to have the power to give love, bring joy, grant peace, have patience, be kind, seek goodness, pursue faithfulness, administer gentleness, and practice self-control. Thank God for the Cross, and for the Holy Spirit!
"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses.
When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another."
Well then. Thank God that cross with Jesus on it was included in the last paragraph, and, as if that wasn't enough, He also gave us a TOTALLY undeserved gift of the Spirit to lead us, guide us, and direct us. Cause otherwise, WE'D BE SCREWED!! Sorry if that language offends you, but really, it's the tamest words that adequately describe where we'd be without Jesus dying on the cross for us. I seriously wonder if anyone allows the Holy Spirit to control them! You just read the list produced by the sinful nature, and I can't think of one person who doesn't struggle with this on a daily basis, including me. Let's see, just today I had to deal with envy, division, outbursts of anger, dissension, quarreling, and impurity, and all that was just before noon. See, it NEVER goes away. Did I act on all those? No, but they were right there just waiting for me, and honestly, it wasn't a big struggle or surprise when they showed up. Sadly, I did act on some of them. So OBVIOUSLY I have not given the Holy Spirit full control. It's that "I don't do what I want to do, and I do what I don't want to do" thing that Paul talks about all over the book of Romans. ARGHHH!!! It requires a second by second commitment, and a keen awareness of what my thoughts and actions are, and obediently turning them over to the Spirit as soon as they enter my awareness.
I think so often we get focused on the "fruits of the Spirit" in our lives (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, and we think that since some of these exist, or we displayed that particular trait that one time, that we're in the clear and got the Spirit controlling us thing covered. And probably, that one time, yes, we got out of the way to let the Spirit work. But one or two or fifty times isn't enough. I want that to be my lifestyle . . . always. As "redeemed" Christians (including me), we so easily forget the sin that once entangled us and are quick to point the sin out in others, that we don't even realize that by doing that, we're going right back to our own sinful natures. It's a cycle that goes round and round and round. And we shouldn't be surprised by it. These verses tell us that "these two forces (Spirit and flesh) are constantly fighting each other".
I also think that the lines at the end of the chapter are often neglected: "let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another." I don't know why, but we Christians have a tendency to do this, not only to non-believers, but to each other . . . in the worst way. We look down on other churches. We question motives. We spread rumors, not intentionally, but because we don't stop them. When we hear testimony, we question whether it's legit. We almost require a 10-step hoop-jumping circus before we believe God is actually at work in people's lives. But we expect people to believe He's at work in our own at the drop of a hat. It's weird. It's shameful. It's fleshy. And it's all over me. I want to live in freedom. Others want to live in freedom. Christ died to set us all free.
If we're serious about being controlled by the Spirit, we've got to practice not doing these things. And it won't be easy. In fact, what will be easy is cutting, crippling, judging, and paralyzing. Giving life, hope, and encouragement, and freedom is the hardest thing there is. That's why Jesus asked it to be taken from Him. He knew what it would cost Him. Not just anyone can do it. Only those who intentionally, purposefully, obediently, and daily seek to be transformed from the inside out by the Spirit of a Holy God, will be able to have the power to give love, bring joy, grant peace, have patience, be kind, seek goodness, pursue faithfulness, administer gentleness, and practice self-control. Thank God for the Cross, and for the Holy Spirit!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Day 21
I really want a new tattoo. I know, that's not what people typically hear pastor's wives say, but who ever said I was typical? I've wanted another one for several years now, but I can't settle on what I want it to look like exactly, or where I want it placed, therefore no tattoo. If you're gonna put something on you forever, you gotta make sure it's right. So I guess the question is, would I be stewarding my body and money well?
I know there's all sorts of Biblical arguments out there regarding tattoos . . . I've not heard one yet that I think holds any weight, and most of the passages quoted are taken out of context to suit people's biases. Then there's the group who thinks tattoos make you look trashy . . . to which I say, trashy is an attitude you exude, not a look, and that's a huge stereotype to make based purely on someone's looks. Then there's the group who wonders why you would want something on you when you're 80 that your grandkids can see that you got on a whim when you were younger . . . if they're my grandkids, they're gonna love me no matter what, and I would never just get something done on a whim but rather with tons of thought and consideration. (My grandpa carved my grandma's initials on his arm when he was in WWII, and I think it's the coolest thing ever)! Finally, there's the group who believes you shouldn't get them because you might get passed up for a job by a future employer . . . seriously, welcome to 2012! Sure, if you decide to get your inspiration from Mike Tyson, you may get passed up, but if you choose a tasteful placement for your tattoo that can be covered up lest it offend, that becomes a non-issue. And who am I kidding . . . I'm never going to work in a field that would be that offended by my sporting a tattoo, AND, to be clear, I already have one, so I guess that knocks me out of the running for those jobs anyway!
Now money . . . if you don't know, tattoos aren't cheap. You can plan on spending at least $50-$100/hour on a tattoo, and it goes up from there depending on the detail work, etc. Usually there's a minimum of $50 if you want a teeny 1x1 or 2x2 inch tattoo. So, is this the best use of my money? I imagine if I save and don't go in debt over it, that's a good start. If I've tithed, put food in my kids' mouths, meet our budget, pay our bills, put some in the bank, and done all the things we do with our money each month, and I've designated my personal savings to go towards it, then one could argue I'm in the clear. Some could also argue no, that I should be doing something for the Kingdom of God with my money. But again, who's to say this wouldn't be used for that?
Bottom line, I can justify both sides of the arguments, but the fact remains, I really want a new tattoo. Thankfully, this is not a salvation issue, and thankfully, my God is big enough to handle people with tattoos!
I know there's all sorts of Biblical arguments out there regarding tattoos . . . I've not heard one yet that I think holds any weight, and most of the passages quoted are taken out of context to suit people's biases. Then there's the group who thinks tattoos make you look trashy . . . to which I say, trashy is an attitude you exude, not a look, and that's a huge stereotype to make based purely on someone's looks. Then there's the group who wonders why you would want something on you when you're 80 that your grandkids can see that you got on a whim when you were younger . . . if they're my grandkids, they're gonna love me no matter what, and I would never just get something done on a whim but rather with tons of thought and consideration. (My grandpa carved my grandma's initials on his arm when he was in WWII, and I think it's the coolest thing ever)! Finally, there's the group who believes you shouldn't get them because you might get passed up for a job by a future employer . . . seriously, welcome to 2012! Sure, if you decide to get your inspiration from Mike Tyson, you may get passed up, but if you choose a tasteful placement for your tattoo that can be covered up lest it offend, that becomes a non-issue. And who am I kidding . . . I'm never going to work in a field that would be that offended by my sporting a tattoo, AND, to be clear, I already have one, so I guess that knocks me out of the running for those jobs anyway!
Now money . . . if you don't know, tattoos aren't cheap. You can plan on spending at least $50-$100/hour on a tattoo, and it goes up from there depending on the detail work, etc. Usually there's a minimum of $50 if you want a teeny 1x1 or 2x2 inch tattoo. So, is this the best use of my money? I imagine if I save and don't go in debt over it, that's a good start. If I've tithed, put food in my kids' mouths, meet our budget, pay our bills, put some in the bank, and done all the things we do with our money each month, and I've designated my personal savings to go towards it, then one could argue I'm in the clear. Some could also argue no, that I should be doing something for the Kingdom of God with my money. But again, who's to say this wouldn't be used for that?
Bottom line, I can justify both sides of the arguments, but the fact remains, I really want a new tattoo. Thankfully, this is not a salvation issue, and thankfully, my God is big enough to handle people with tattoos!
Monday, March 12, 2012
Day 20
YEA, I hit halfway today!! This is actually much harder than it may seem, trying to think of something profound to say each day. Obviously achieving the "profound" part of that goal has been questionable, as is evidenced by some of my posts, but it's good practice for me!
I know I should talk about Galatians again, but I'm still sitting on that and processing. So instead, I found myself today wondering how I steward my health. The reasons for this is because all I did today was go to the chiropractor, go to the gym, eat my meals with my family, and struggle to stay awake (late nights and daylight savings is kicking my butt this year!). Oh, and teach, of course! I'm grateful that I can without a shadow of a doubt say that I steward my health 100% better than I ever have before, at least physically. I eat well, I control portions, I work out regularly, and I continue working towards a healthy weight. YEA me!!
But physical is only one aspect of health. In regards to spiritual health, I feel I'm doing okay here too. I'm asking questions I haven't asked in a long time, if ever, and I'm okay with not knowing it all. I feel like I'm hearing God because I'm listening for Him. I'm trying to move beyond the "norms" of Christianity that I've always known so that I can understand them in a way that perhaps God truly intended rather than as Truths spun with human interpretations. I'm also open to God's Spirit moving in me, especially in terms of action. So again, yea! This makes me happy.
So mental health. Well, hmmmmm, as a counselor, I'd love to say this department is in tip top shape, but that would be a big fat lie. Things I'm working on in the physical and spiritual areas have helped me mentally this last year in ways I never thought possible, but there's still room for growth. I've definitely retreated into a shell, partially for protection, and partially because I've lost confidence. I've lost some of my drive and passion because I've become tired of fighting the same battles, and I've been humbled which has a way of knocking the wind out of you. I know that given time, some of this will come back, but honestly, I know I had the year I had last year for a reason, and to just go back to same ole same ole mental space, would be tragic. I am taking time to let God rearrange me and put me back together again, because ultimately, I (all the parts of me)am His dwelling place.
"Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor (or glorify- meaning personally acknowledging God in His true character)God with your body (which in Greek, both words soma (flesh) and pneuma (spirit) are used)." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
I know I should talk about Galatians again, but I'm still sitting on that and processing. So instead, I found myself today wondering how I steward my health. The reasons for this is because all I did today was go to the chiropractor, go to the gym, eat my meals with my family, and struggle to stay awake (late nights and daylight savings is kicking my butt this year!). Oh, and teach, of course! I'm grateful that I can without a shadow of a doubt say that I steward my health 100% better than I ever have before, at least physically. I eat well, I control portions, I work out regularly, and I continue working towards a healthy weight. YEA me!!
But physical is only one aspect of health. In regards to spiritual health, I feel I'm doing okay here too. I'm asking questions I haven't asked in a long time, if ever, and I'm okay with not knowing it all. I feel like I'm hearing God because I'm listening for Him. I'm trying to move beyond the "norms" of Christianity that I've always known so that I can understand them in a way that perhaps God truly intended rather than as Truths spun with human interpretations. I'm also open to God's Spirit moving in me, especially in terms of action. So again, yea! This makes me happy.
So mental health. Well, hmmmmm, as a counselor, I'd love to say this department is in tip top shape, but that would be a big fat lie. Things I'm working on in the physical and spiritual areas have helped me mentally this last year in ways I never thought possible, but there's still room for growth. I've definitely retreated into a shell, partially for protection, and partially because I've lost confidence. I've lost some of my drive and passion because I've become tired of fighting the same battles, and I've been humbled which has a way of knocking the wind out of you. I know that given time, some of this will come back, but honestly, I know I had the year I had last year for a reason, and to just go back to same ole same ole mental space, would be tragic. I am taking time to let God rearrange me and put me back together again, because ultimately, I (all the parts of me)am His dwelling place.
"Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor (or glorify- meaning personally acknowledging God in His true character)God with your body (which in Greek, both words soma (flesh) and pneuma (spirit) are used)." 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Day 19
Yesterday I was reading in Galatians. I got so much out of it (all 6 chapters), and God is speaking to my heart about many areas that I haven't fully grasped it all yet. So instead of commenting on it just now, I'm just going to post it here for you to read. I read it in New Living Translation. We'll talk more later! Feel free to share how it speaks to you!
http://www.youversion.com/bible/gal.1.nlt
http://www.youversion.com/bible/gal.1.nlt
Day 18
I had a HORRIBLE nightmare last night. H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E.!! I have vivid dreams all the time, but usually nightmares are only once or twice a year. Fortunately I was able to wake myself out of it, and after waking up crying, realizing it wasn't real, and that I was actually alive, I woke James up. I love that even now, God has given me someone who can pray for me any hour of the day or night for any reason, even a bad dream. Growing up, my parents always prayed with me when I had nightmares. And then they'd put on Christian music in my room so I would be reminded that God was with me, even while I slept. What a blessing! And now, at 35 years old, God still blesses me with little but meaningful ways!
Though I had grand adventures as a kid (I mean really, what 11 year old travels around the world? How many kids can say they never spent a summer at home until they were a Senior in high school?), it was the day to day stuff that my parents did that molded and shaped me. Of course, specific circumstances also shaped me, but I learned how to trust God, how to appreciate people, how to value beauty, how to say "I'm sorry" (that was a really fun lesson for my brother!), how to see God in the big and little, how to stick with it, how to work, how to get involved, how to multi-task, how to relax, how to enjoy the moment, how to try, how to take advantage of opportunities, how to appreciate family, how to serve, how to commit, and the list could go on and on and on, because of my parents and the day to day lessons they taught my brothers and I.
And now, as I parent my own two sons, I can only pray that the same lessons my parents taught me, and James' parents taught him, will be lived out through the two of us so that our sons will become men of great character. And, that will mainly happen in the day to day of our lives together. By reading them the Bible and modeling that it's important to us by letting them see us read it. By taking an extra 10 minutes to explain something they're interested about in a way that makes sense to them. By spending quality time with them, individually and as a family. By taking them with us to places like downtown to serve the homeless and travelling to Mexico to work, make friends, and learn that the world is actually really small. By telling them no, and explaining why. By giving them eye contact. By requiring them to do chores and work hard. By taking time to relax at home and on vacations. And by praying with them when they wake up from nightmares. It's the little things with my family that I want to steward well, because it's the little things that matter the most!
Though I had grand adventures as a kid (I mean really, what 11 year old travels around the world? How many kids can say they never spent a summer at home until they were a Senior in high school?), it was the day to day stuff that my parents did that molded and shaped me. Of course, specific circumstances also shaped me, but I learned how to trust God, how to appreciate people, how to value beauty, how to say "I'm sorry" (that was a really fun lesson for my brother!), how to see God in the big and little, how to stick with it, how to work, how to get involved, how to multi-task, how to relax, how to enjoy the moment, how to try, how to take advantage of opportunities, how to appreciate family, how to serve, how to commit, and the list could go on and on and on, because of my parents and the day to day lessons they taught my brothers and I.
And now, as I parent my own two sons, I can only pray that the same lessons my parents taught me, and James' parents taught him, will be lived out through the two of us so that our sons will become men of great character. And, that will mainly happen in the day to day of our lives together. By reading them the Bible and modeling that it's important to us by letting them see us read it. By taking an extra 10 minutes to explain something they're interested about in a way that makes sense to them. By spending quality time with them, individually and as a family. By taking them with us to places like downtown to serve the homeless and travelling to Mexico to work, make friends, and learn that the world is actually really small. By telling them no, and explaining why. By giving them eye contact. By requiring them to do chores and work hard. By taking time to relax at home and on vacations. And by praying with them when they wake up from nightmares. It's the little things with my family that I want to steward well, because it's the little things that matter the most!
Friday, March 9, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Day 16
One lesson I've been learning of late (like the last three years) is that of not being a procrastinator (which is why I've written all but 2 of these posts so far 30 minutes on either side of midnight! I'm a good learner!). Honestly, and perhaps a little tragically, I'm really good at it and I produce good results! I'm not one of those who does a crappy job on last minute stuff. I do good work when I'm under pressure. I once got a 100% on a major research paper in grad. school that I started on 8 hours before it was due. Friends of mine in the same class had been working on it for literally 6 weeks and received solid B's. I'm not bragging about this, it's just how it happened. Not all my efforts pan out with good results, but usually, I can trust that I'll do well on something, even if it's last minute.
I wonder though, if this is a hindrance or a gift. It's probably both, but I want to make sure that it's more of a gift than a hindrance, both to me and those in my life. I know that because of this ability, I take on a lot. I also know that because of it, I can carry on almost any conversation with an intelligent thought. However, not all situations merit such haphazard focus. Some actually need a real concentrated effort. Not all conversations should be entered into without careful consideration and prayer. Because of this tendency in me, I usually err on the side of procrastination, which, during those times, makes me a VERY ENJOYABLE person to be around (just ask james)!
This is one reason I decide to do posts like this, at least during Lent, for 40 days. It's a tangible way I can focus my thoughts and carefully consider things. In the fast paced world I live in, consideration is a lost art, and I need to practice! I need to slow my mind down and consider my days: what's taken place in them, who I've had relationship with, who I haven't, stopping and listening to what God is saying to me, waiting on Him to see how I'm to apply that to my life, considering who I've wronged, figuring out how to right that wrong, talking with God, noticing areas of growth, and perhaps changing my trajectory through the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
I read these verses from James 4, and am reminded that though we make plan after plan after plan, our lives are not our own. We aren't ultimately in control! I can plan away or procrastinate. Neither really matters if I haven't bothered to ask God what He wants. And if God does want me to do something, I need to remember that I'm representing The Holy God! So I had better do the good I know I ought to do rather than frittering away my talents, gifts, opportunities, and lessons to be learned, or perhaps even worse, banking on my own abilities to carry me through.
I wonder though, if this is a hindrance or a gift. It's probably both, but I want to make sure that it's more of a gift than a hindrance, both to me and those in my life. I know that because of this ability, I take on a lot. I also know that because of it, I can carry on almost any conversation with an intelligent thought. However, not all situations merit such haphazard focus. Some actually need a real concentrated effort. Not all conversations should be entered into without careful consideration and prayer. Because of this tendency in me, I usually err on the side of procrastination, which, during those times, makes me a VERY ENJOYABLE person to be around (just ask james)!
This is one reason I decide to do posts like this, at least during Lent, for 40 days. It's a tangible way I can focus my thoughts and carefully consider things. In the fast paced world I live in, consideration is a lost art, and I need to practice! I need to slow my mind down and consider my days: what's taken place in them, who I've had relationship with, who I haven't, stopping and listening to what God is saying to me, waiting on Him to see how I'm to apply that to my life, considering who I've wronged, figuring out how to right that wrong, talking with God, noticing areas of growth, and perhaps changing my trajectory through the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
I read these verses from James 4, and am reminded that though we make plan after plan after plan, our lives are not our own. We aren't ultimately in control! I can plan away or procrastinate. Neither really matters if I haven't bothered to ask God what He wants. And if God does want me to do something, I need to remember that I'm representing The Holy God! So I had better do the good I know I ought to do rather than frittering away my talents, gifts, opportunities, and lessons to be learned, or perhaps even worse, banking on my own abilities to carry me through.
Day 15
Sorry there was no post last night. I had about 5 minutes where I saw my husbands eyeballs yesterday, and in those 5 minutes, he made an appointment to put our dog of 13 years down. We knew this was coming, but it's still hard. So today, after co-op, that's what we get to do. She's been living at her "retirement community," a.k.a. Grandma and Grandpa's house, for the last year and a half because the life of our family just wasn't conducive to her age and state of being any more. Anyways, when I saw my husband again, it was a new day (the clock struck midnight as I walked in the door), and we needed face time more than I needed to write a post for a blog! So last night, I stewarded my marriage well! The end! I'll write a long post tonight to make it up! Have a good day!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Day 14
It's hard to know how much to push. Whether as a parent, a teacher, a wife, a friend, or as myself. I don't really know what this has to do with "stewarding or consuming" but it's what I'm thinking about today. For instance, I have a song I really want to teach my chorus class. I know they'll love it, but most of them can't read music, and it's pretty technical. Do I push if they're not yet ready or wait till next year where they may have more ability? I have a son who is terrified of performing, but is learning that quitting is an easy out. Do I push through this challenge to form his character, or will this particular issue do more harm than good? I have a friend who is obviously struggling with boundaries in relationships. Do I push and tell her my fears for her or do I even understand the full picture and all that is at stake for her? I have a goal for myself that I just cannot seem to achieve for reasons including children, teaching, wife-ing (my word), being a friend, sickness, injury, etc. . . Do I push to the point of achieving my goal or risk physically and mentally falling apart and ignoring important relationships?
The older I get, the harder and easier it is to make decisions. It's easier to make them, I think, but harder to not second-guess my choice. This can be frustrating. Well, at least for a perfectionist type like me. Maybe that's why it's hard for me not to second guess . . . because I want to be perfect. I want to know that the decision I made was the correct one, and I can spend a LOT of energy questioning all the ramifications of making a mistake, often to the point of being paralyzed from any action.
I read this today from a blog a friend of mine subscribes to. It's written in reference to leading a church when you're a sinner. How to continue on "pushing" (my term) when you're often right there in the throes of life with those you're wondering whether you should push. I felt the principles he outlined could be for any Christian who is in a position of leadership (mom, wife, teacher, friend, etc.), not just a pastor or minister, so I thought I'd share. If you want to read more, you'll find it at http://housechurches.posterous.com/107970566.
1. God's power is made perfect through our imperfections. The fact that we are so weak and fragile yet can perform miracles through Christ is a testament to how powerful God really is.
2 Corinthians 12:9 - New Living Translation (NLT)
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
2. If we wait for till we're ready/perfect, we'll never do it. The perfect time to listen to God’s calling isn’t when you’ve got your life in order, it’s right now.
Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 - New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant.
If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.
3. You are in good company. Adam, Noah, Moses, David, Peter, and every other person in the Bible (except Jesus) was a sinner with equal guilt to yours. Yet God used each of them to do the impossible. Perfection is not a prerequisite for serving God, it’s actually an inhibitor. As soon as you think you are perfect and an inspiring light for others to follow, it’s time for a reality check.
4. Don't listen to Satan's perverse lies; he wants to immobilize you with feelings of inadequacy. You are never going to be sin-free in this life time, but Christ has already forgiven you for all your sins and you need not dwell on them or let them keep you from doing God's will in the present!
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I guess this post ended up being about whether I steward dependence on God to lead my actions well, or whether I squander and exhaust the Holy Spirit's leading in my life when facing important decisions. I'm glad God doesn't demand perfection, and I'm glad that He left us verses like this to encourage us.
James 1:2-8 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
The older I get, the harder and easier it is to make decisions. It's easier to make them, I think, but harder to not second-guess my choice. This can be frustrating. Well, at least for a perfectionist type like me. Maybe that's why it's hard for me not to second guess . . . because I want to be perfect. I want to know that the decision I made was the correct one, and I can spend a LOT of energy questioning all the ramifications of making a mistake, often to the point of being paralyzed from any action.
I read this today from a blog a friend of mine subscribes to. It's written in reference to leading a church when you're a sinner. How to continue on "pushing" (my term) when you're often right there in the throes of life with those you're wondering whether you should push. I felt the principles he outlined could be for any Christian who is in a position of leadership (mom, wife, teacher, friend, etc.), not just a pastor or minister, so I thought I'd share. If you want to read more, you'll find it at http://housechurches.posterous.com/107970566.
1. God's power is made perfect through our imperfections. The fact that we are so weak and fragile yet can perform miracles through Christ is a testament to how powerful God really is.
2 Corinthians 12:9 - New Living Translation (NLT)
9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
2. If we wait for till we're ready/perfect, we'll never do it. The perfect time to listen to God’s calling isn’t when you’ve got your life in order, it’s right now.
Ecclesiastes 11:4-5 - New Living Translation (NLT)
4 Farmers who wait for perfect weather never plant.
If they watch every cloud, they never harvest.
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother’s womb,[a] so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.
3. You are in good company. Adam, Noah, Moses, David, Peter, and every other person in the Bible (except Jesus) was a sinner with equal guilt to yours. Yet God used each of them to do the impossible. Perfection is not a prerequisite for serving God, it’s actually an inhibitor. As soon as you think you are perfect and an inspiring light for others to follow, it’s time for a reality check.
4. Don't listen to Satan's perverse lies; he wants to immobilize you with feelings of inadequacy. You are never going to be sin-free in this life time, but Christ has already forgiven you for all your sins and you need not dwell on them or let them keep you from doing God's will in the present!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I guess this post ended up being about whether I steward dependence on God to lead my actions well, or whether I squander and exhaust the Holy Spirit's leading in my life when facing important decisions. I'm glad God doesn't demand perfection, and I'm glad that He left us verses like this to encourage us.
James 1:2-8 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Day 13
I don't steward water well. There, I said it. I like REALLY cold water to drink, and REALLY hot water in the shower! I like really green grass in the summer. I like flowers that aren't dead. I like to wash my dog MULTIPLE times when he gets sprayed by the skunk that my neighbor feeds. I enjoy drinking my full 8 glasses a day . . . as my health is becoming my priority (see last year's blog)! Therefore, I let my water run and run until I get my desired result. Sorry California, as you experience droughts each year. Sorry Nevada, cause you're just kinda ugly. I wish my penchant for perfect water allowed you both to have more, but alas, I will use it all up! BUT, my public school brainwashing of shutting off the faucets while brushing my teeth is still intact! YEA, that's good! But, their idea of only flushing after #2 didn't stick. Sorry, i have a thing for clear water in the toidy the next time it's used! Sorry earth. I admit, I'm a consumer of water! Definitely room for growth in this department.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Day 12
"What in me is dark, illumine" . . . John Milton
That's a profound and raw and scary thought. Yet I found myself face to face with some darkness in me this last year that I never expected to find. I'm smart enough to know that if it wasn't illumined, the darkness would grow. Thankfully I obeyed, and brought it to light, and God's been able to move in, heal, and restore. But I often find myself wondering how do I make sure I steward being authentic well, in the future. Examining this last year, I find several things that aided in my being courageous enough to bring sin and pain to light, and being authentic about dealing with it.
First- I remember what I've been taught. I grew up in a family that valued truth. My parents didn't gloss over real or hard issues. They included us kids as much as was appropriate, and we were able to learn that sin needs to be dealt with, even if it's painful or embarrassing. Oh how I wish people could have had parents like mine who don't run from conflict, but navigate it as best they can to reach a Godly resolution. What a gift we were given.
Second, I remembered my vows. My marriage is the most sacred thing to me, and choosing to be honest in the vows I took 13 years ago is not always the easiest thing to do. It requires gut-wrenching authenticity. But I made those vows, and I meant them with all my heart, so either I honor them or I'm a fraud.
Third- I remember my children. Apart from James, my boys are the most important people in my life. They are watching my every move with keen keen awareness and understanding, even at the tender ages of 5 and 8. If I choose to be a coward, guess who's watching. If I choose to ignore the Holy Spirit in my life, guess who will also? I'll do anything for my kids, including dealing with myself.
Fourth- I intentionally put people in my life that I knew wouldn't put up with easy or cop-out answers. They would push depth and ask hard questions. They will flat out tell me if I'm being an idiot. They'll call me out if I'm fake or holding back, they'll bolster me up when I can't do it anymore, and they'll cover me in prayer. These are people who genuinely have my and my family's best interests at heart, and I'm eternally grateful for them. But it required asking them to be that for me.
Fifth- I remember who I belong to. I've publicly declared that my life is not my own, so when I choose to not be authentic, I'm selfishly holding my life tight rather than giving God full-access. Either I'm a Christ-follower, or I'm not. He gets all of me, or He doesn't. There's no room for grey in this matter for me. Sometimes this is inconvenient, when I want to be selfish or do my own thing or take the easy way, but I'm so grateful that I was raised in this Truth and claimed it for my life at a young age. It has saved me from a great deal of pain, and it's helped form me in to who I am today. I don't desire to be inauthentic, and hopefully, all who come in contact with me realize this, and more importantly, realize that the only reason I can be an authentic person is by surrendering myself daily to the work of God in my life.
These are just a few of the standards I've intentionally put in my life and recognize as necessary guardrails to keep me on a path of authenticity. There are areas I still need to grow in though. Some of them I've already blogged about. Others rear their ugly heads from time to time, and I'm too chicken to deal with them (giving in to fears and insecurities, finding my worth in things other than God, giving in to a life of ease rather than sacrificing for the greater good . . . you know, little things like that)! These are things that keep me from being fully authentic, and therefore, not living to the fullest for what I was created for. Thankfully, God's grace is sufficient and constantly flowing down to cover my weaknesses and sins. But I don't have the luxury of taking that grace for granted. I've been blessed with knowledge about God, and with knowledge comes responsibility. I don't want to be a girl anymore who just feeds on milk, but one who feeds on the tough stuff, the meat. And in that feeding, I want to be authentic, as much as I can, while here on earth. I desperately want to live out 1 Corinthians 13 in my life, and I desperately want to illumine any dark thing that God brings to heart and mind. Feel free to help me do that!
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
That's a profound and raw and scary thought. Yet I found myself face to face with some darkness in me this last year that I never expected to find. I'm smart enough to know that if it wasn't illumined, the darkness would grow. Thankfully I obeyed, and brought it to light, and God's been able to move in, heal, and restore. But I often find myself wondering how do I make sure I steward being authentic well, in the future. Examining this last year, I find several things that aided in my being courageous enough to bring sin and pain to light, and being authentic about dealing with it.
First- I remember what I've been taught. I grew up in a family that valued truth. My parents didn't gloss over real or hard issues. They included us kids as much as was appropriate, and we were able to learn that sin needs to be dealt with, even if it's painful or embarrassing. Oh how I wish people could have had parents like mine who don't run from conflict, but navigate it as best they can to reach a Godly resolution. What a gift we were given.
Second, I remembered my vows. My marriage is the most sacred thing to me, and choosing to be honest in the vows I took 13 years ago is not always the easiest thing to do. It requires gut-wrenching authenticity. But I made those vows, and I meant them with all my heart, so either I honor them or I'm a fraud.
Third- I remember my children. Apart from James, my boys are the most important people in my life. They are watching my every move with keen keen awareness and understanding, even at the tender ages of 5 and 8. If I choose to be a coward, guess who's watching. If I choose to ignore the Holy Spirit in my life, guess who will also? I'll do anything for my kids, including dealing with myself.
Fourth- I intentionally put people in my life that I knew wouldn't put up with easy or cop-out answers. They would push depth and ask hard questions. They will flat out tell me if I'm being an idiot. They'll call me out if I'm fake or holding back, they'll bolster me up when I can't do it anymore, and they'll cover me in prayer. These are people who genuinely have my and my family's best interests at heart, and I'm eternally grateful for them. But it required asking them to be that for me.
Fifth- I remember who I belong to. I've publicly declared that my life is not my own, so when I choose to not be authentic, I'm selfishly holding my life tight rather than giving God full-access. Either I'm a Christ-follower, or I'm not. He gets all of me, or He doesn't. There's no room for grey in this matter for me. Sometimes this is inconvenient, when I want to be selfish or do my own thing or take the easy way, but I'm so grateful that I was raised in this Truth and claimed it for my life at a young age. It has saved me from a great deal of pain, and it's helped form me in to who I am today. I don't desire to be inauthentic, and hopefully, all who come in contact with me realize this, and more importantly, realize that the only reason I can be an authentic person is by surrendering myself daily to the work of God in my life.
These are just a few of the standards I've intentionally put in my life and recognize as necessary guardrails to keep me on a path of authenticity. There are areas I still need to grow in though. Some of them I've already blogged about. Others rear their ugly heads from time to time, and I'm too chicken to deal with them (giving in to fears and insecurities, finding my worth in things other than God, giving in to a life of ease rather than sacrificing for the greater good . . . you know, little things like that)! These are things that keep me from being fully authentic, and therefore, not living to the fullest for what I was created for. Thankfully, God's grace is sufficient and constantly flowing down to cover my weaknesses and sins. But I don't have the luxury of taking that grace for granted. I've been blessed with knowledge about God, and with knowledge comes responsibility. I don't want to be a girl anymore who just feeds on milk, but one who feeds on the tough stuff, the meat. And in that feeding, I want to be authentic, as much as I can, while here on earth. I desperately want to live out 1 Corinthians 13 in my life, and I desperately want to illumine any dark thing that God brings to heart and mind. Feel free to help me do that!
1 Corinthians 13
1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Day 11
Today we got to celebrate a fabulous 5 year old! Her spirit, energy, and smile is enough to wipe out any grumpy mood, frown, or negative attitude! She's a gift to all who meet her, and she's one of those precious children that was adopted.
So that's what my post is gonna be about tonight, stewarding lives well who are in this world, who by no fault of their own, find themselves in a position of needing loving, Godly homes. I know this is an area that I fall short in. I don't believe I fall into the "consumption" category or exhausting and squandering, but carefully stewarding, that's definitely an area of growth. And I can make excuses as to why on so many different levels, and they're all valid, and I can justify that I already do enough in this department, but I'm not satisfied with those reasons anymore. God gave a clear mandate to people in James 1:26-27 about what we're to do:
"Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
To "look after"- I think we like to believe that "looking after" is accomplished when we pray for, think about, say hi to, maybe even play with. Not bad things, however, I checked it out in a thesaurus. If those four things happen to make up our definition of "look after", are we in for a surprise! From the thesaurus, up popped:
"administer to, attend, attend on, attend to, baby-sit, bandage, bathe, be fond of, be partial to, burn with love, care for, chaperon, cherish, chore, coddle, conserve, contend with, cope with, cosset, cradle, cultivate, cure, dance attendance upon, deal with, diagnose, do for, do service to, do with, doctor, dote on, dote upon, drudge, dry-nurse, fancy, feed, flux, foster, give care to, go for, handle, have eyes for, heal, help, keep watch over, lackey, lavish care on, like, look after, look out for, look to, love, maid, manage, massage, matronize, mind, minister to, mother, nourish, nurse, nurture, operate on, pamper, pander to, physic, plaster, poultice, preserve, protege, provide for, purge, remedy, ride herd on, rub, see after, see to, serve, shepherd, splint, spoon-feed, steward, strap, support, sustain, take care of, take charge of, tend, treat, upon, use, valet, wait".
Hmmmmm, I think we fall a little short . . . at least I know I do! And then "who" comes to mind when you hear orphans. In the Greek, this word orphan (orphanus) means "bereaved, an orphan, fatherless, desolate." Wait, what?? You mean, not JUST the little ones who have no parents? According to God, it's a little bit broader than that. And truthfully, there's nothing in the verse that connotes age in regards to orphans. It includes those who are bereaved (having been deprived of something or someone valued, especially through death), an orphan (lacking both parents), desolate (experiencing devastation, ruin, barren, lifeless, devoid of inhabitants, bereft of friends or hope), and the fatherless (having no living or known father). Huh, and let's not forget this verse also goes on to mention widows (meaning lacking a husband, literally or figuratively).
I don't know about you dear reader, but I have a WHOLE lot of people in my life that fall into many of these categories. And God says He ACTUALLY wants me to care for them (again, see really long definition above). So the wife whose husband is tuned out of his family's life or doesn't provide for them, those devastated by abuse, death, addiction (theirs or others), those whose parents checked out of their lives whether geographically or emotionally or in fact actually died or gave them up, the single moms and their kids (hey that gets both widow and orphan-- bonus points for helping them!), those experiencing loss, those who show no evidence of life or hope, those whose husbands left them either by death or abandonment, those ruined by (fill in the blank with whatever sin you want to insert)-- perhaps some of my friends without homes are coming to mind, and on and on . . . all these are really important to God that we "look after".
I think so often we limit the view of this verse, when clearly it pertains to so much more than one population. Even if it was the one population, most people think, "no way am I going to adopt!" as if that's the only way to "look after" an orphan. It's a FANTASTIC way to look after them! I have many in my life and family who have felt the call from God to look after through fostering or adopting kiddos, and I'm SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM and those new little monkeys in my world! Even if you go that route, though, it can't just end there. Adoption seems long, emotional, arduous, risky, complicated, and unknown, so again going back to my post a couple days ago, why in the world would our society do it? Then here I go and help broaden our definition to include a larger population. In a way it may seem easier . . . "well at least I don't have guilt now for not adopting! I can just help. There's less of a commitment in that, but adoption's forever." But I see nothing in the definition of "look after" that screams TEMPORARY or EASY! Yes, my words just screamed at you. Not much in that definition can be done well for someone without having some sort of relationship with them. And, (here we go), relationships take time, energy, space. They're messy, they hurt, and they're risky. They're also life-giving, soul-changing, and heart-growing . . . for both parties involved.
So what do we do? What do I do? Well hopefully as you've been reading this, a name or 50 popped up in your brain. Start with them! Take the definition above, and apply it to the relationships you already have that Jesus is talking about. Here's a concept, ask God how He wants you to go about this! This doesn't have to be rocket-science, but it isn't going to be easy either. It's going to require making space for these relationships. It's going to mean clearing our schedules a bit for face-to-face time, phone calls, dinners, and (wait for it) serving them! It may even mean confronting some of our pre-conceived notions or stereotypes or biases towards some in this population. Yea, that's loads of fun. But it's necessary, at least if you want to engage in a way that Jesus claims is pure and acceptable.
I have a relationship with a dear friend that I recently had to fight for. She hasn't had many relationships in her life that "stuck", so the concept wasn't natural for her, and I got busy. She equated that with not caring for her anymore. A bit premature, BUT totally valid! If I were in her shoes, I would feel the same way. She was ready to bail, not out of desire, but out of deference to me and to try to stop feeling horrible about a great loss of relationship in her life. She truly missed her friend. And when you don't have many deep or close friendships, they all count. I was negligent. I took something so sacred and precious to me, and by my actions, assumed she had all the stability of my childhood and would never question my intentions. What an idiot I was! And I'm actually a trained professional!
We have to know that when we're building relationships, we meet people where they're at and go at their pace. We have to help teach them, not through lectures, but through our actions. We have to show them that God will never leave them nor forsake them. God left us here to gather people to Himself, even knowing all our blunders and mistakes. When you screw it up, say your sorry. Fess up, ask for forgiveness, learn from them, and commit to starting again. We need to include them on healthy and authentic (not perfect) families, marriages, activities, fears, joys, and genuinely take interest in theirs as well . . . not with an agenda of fixing or managing, but to really "look after". Once we do, we'll find that more often than not, these people will have spirit, energy, and smiles that are true gifts to all that know them! This is pure and faultless religion. And that's the kind I want in on! May I learn to steward it well!
So that's what my post is gonna be about tonight, stewarding lives well who are in this world, who by no fault of their own, find themselves in a position of needing loving, Godly homes. I know this is an area that I fall short in. I don't believe I fall into the "consumption" category or exhausting and squandering, but carefully stewarding, that's definitely an area of growth. And I can make excuses as to why on so many different levels, and they're all valid, and I can justify that I already do enough in this department, but I'm not satisfied with those reasons anymore. God gave a clear mandate to people in James 1:26-27 about what we're to do:
"Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
To "look after"- I think we like to believe that "looking after" is accomplished when we pray for, think about, say hi to, maybe even play with. Not bad things, however, I checked it out in a thesaurus. If those four things happen to make up our definition of "look after", are we in for a surprise! From the thesaurus, up popped:
"administer to, attend, attend on, attend to, baby-sit, bandage, bathe, be fond of, be partial to, burn with love, care for, chaperon, cherish, chore, coddle, conserve, contend with, cope with, cosset, cradle, cultivate, cure, dance attendance upon, deal with, diagnose, do for, do service to, do with, doctor, dote on, dote upon, drudge, dry-nurse, fancy, feed, flux, foster, give care to, go for, handle, have eyes for, heal, help, keep watch over, lackey, lavish care on, like, look after, look out for, look to, love, maid, manage, massage, matronize, mind, minister to, mother, nourish, nurse, nurture, operate on, pamper, pander to, physic, plaster, poultice, preserve, protege, provide for, purge, remedy, ride herd on, rub, see after, see to, serve, shepherd, splint, spoon-feed, steward, strap, support, sustain, take care of, take charge of, tend, treat, upon, use, valet, wait".
Hmmmmm, I think we fall a little short . . . at least I know I do! And then "who" comes to mind when you hear orphans. In the Greek, this word orphan (orphanus) means "bereaved, an orphan, fatherless, desolate." Wait, what?? You mean, not JUST the little ones who have no parents? According to God, it's a little bit broader than that. And truthfully, there's nothing in the verse that connotes age in regards to orphans. It includes those who are bereaved (having been deprived of something or someone valued, especially through death), an orphan (lacking both parents), desolate (experiencing devastation, ruin, barren, lifeless, devoid of inhabitants, bereft of friends or hope), and the fatherless (having no living or known father). Huh, and let's not forget this verse also goes on to mention widows (meaning lacking a husband, literally or figuratively).
I don't know about you dear reader, but I have a WHOLE lot of people in my life that fall into many of these categories. And God says He ACTUALLY wants me to care for them (again, see really long definition above). So the wife whose husband is tuned out of his family's life or doesn't provide for them, those devastated by abuse, death, addiction (theirs or others), those whose parents checked out of their lives whether geographically or emotionally or in fact actually died or gave them up, the single moms and their kids (hey that gets both widow and orphan-- bonus points for helping them!), those experiencing loss, those who show no evidence of life or hope, those whose husbands left them either by death or abandonment, those ruined by (fill in the blank with whatever sin you want to insert)-- perhaps some of my friends without homes are coming to mind, and on and on . . . all these are really important to God that we "look after".
I think so often we limit the view of this verse, when clearly it pertains to so much more than one population. Even if it was the one population, most people think, "no way am I going to adopt!" as if that's the only way to "look after" an orphan. It's a FANTASTIC way to look after them! I have many in my life and family who have felt the call from God to look after through fostering or adopting kiddos, and I'm SO GRATEFUL FOR THEM and those new little monkeys in my world! Even if you go that route, though, it can't just end there. Adoption seems long, emotional, arduous, risky, complicated, and unknown, so again going back to my post a couple days ago, why in the world would our society do it? Then here I go and help broaden our definition to include a larger population. In a way it may seem easier . . . "well at least I don't have guilt now for not adopting! I can just help. There's less of a commitment in that, but adoption's forever." But I see nothing in the definition of "look after" that screams TEMPORARY or EASY! Yes, my words just screamed at you. Not much in that definition can be done well for someone without having some sort of relationship with them. And, (here we go), relationships take time, energy, space. They're messy, they hurt, and they're risky. They're also life-giving, soul-changing, and heart-growing . . . for both parties involved.
So what do we do? What do I do? Well hopefully as you've been reading this, a name or 50 popped up in your brain. Start with them! Take the definition above, and apply it to the relationships you already have that Jesus is talking about. Here's a concept, ask God how He wants you to go about this! This doesn't have to be rocket-science, but it isn't going to be easy either. It's going to require making space for these relationships. It's going to mean clearing our schedules a bit for face-to-face time, phone calls, dinners, and (wait for it) serving them! It may even mean confronting some of our pre-conceived notions or stereotypes or biases towards some in this population. Yea, that's loads of fun. But it's necessary, at least if you want to engage in a way that Jesus claims is pure and acceptable.
I have a relationship with a dear friend that I recently had to fight for. She hasn't had many relationships in her life that "stuck", so the concept wasn't natural for her, and I got busy. She equated that with not caring for her anymore. A bit premature, BUT totally valid! If I were in her shoes, I would feel the same way. She was ready to bail, not out of desire, but out of deference to me and to try to stop feeling horrible about a great loss of relationship in her life. She truly missed her friend. And when you don't have many deep or close friendships, they all count. I was negligent. I took something so sacred and precious to me, and by my actions, assumed she had all the stability of my childhood and would never question my intentions. What an idiot I was! And I'm actually a trained professional!
We have to know that when we're building relationships, we meet people where they're at and go at their pace. We have to help teach them, not through lectures, but through our actions. We have to show them that God will never leave them nor forsake them. God left us here to gather people to Himself, even knowing all our blunders and mistakes. When you screw it up, say your sorry. Fess up, ask for forgiveness, learn from them, and commit to starting again. We need to include them on healthy and authentic (not perfect) families, marriages, activities, fears, joys, and genuinely take interest in theirs as well . . . not with an agenda of fixing or managing, but to really "look after". Once we do, we'll find that more often than not, these people will have spirit, energy, and smiles that are true gifts to all that know them! This is pure and faultless religion. And that's the kind I want in on! May I learn to steward it well!
Friday, March 2, 2012
Day 10
That blessed day called Sabbath! That's what I'm experiencing today . . . the slower pace of life, enjoying friends, enjoying family, enjoying food. And enjoying a break in the writing of posts! May you all Sabbath well, whatever day it is you do that!!
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Day 9
"What's a Body to Do"- by Pam Braman
"My body lets me know I'm getting older. Injuries take longer to heal. Weight goes on faster. My knees creak when I get up form kneeling. So why don't I get rid of my body? Well, it's the only body I have. If it get rid of it, I die.
Then why do people say they can walk with God and be spiritually healthy without the church?
"Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it" (1 Corinthians 12:27). God has determined that we, the church, are to be the physical demonstration of Jesus to this world, but this body of Christ often seems to be like my body: injured, weak, and creaking.
Many conclude it's time to abandon the body and do spiritual life on their own, but how is it possible to be in Christ while rejecting His body? Some say as long as they follow Jesus they re part of the body of Christ, regardless of whether they belong to a local church. But 1 Corinthians isn't written to everybody. It's written to "the church of God in Corinth" (1 Corinthians 1:2), a local church.
"God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers," according to 1 Corinthians 12:28, which implies a structure. the passage seems to suggest that belonging to the body of Christ is belonging to the organized church. How can you play your part in the body of Christ (as we are called to do) if you remove yourself from any formal connection to other body parts? A foot can't do it's own thing and succeed (1 Corinthians 12:15).
I believe many people live as phantom limbs. they are convinced they are part of the body, but they have amputated themselves. Be part of the body, and be prepared for a workout. The body needs to be in shape for the mission of saving others' lives."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So as you recall from a few posts ago, this section of 1 Corinthians was speaking to me, especially in regards to "gifts". Then a couple days after that, I picked up my denominations monthly magazine, "Light and Life" and read this article. The emphasis of the articles this month was on membership and why it's important to belong to a local church as a body of believers. This particular article makes sense to me. And it asks questions that I've been hearing people wrestle with for some time. Does church (as an organized community) matter?
I know there's tons of debate on the "how" church is done- formal gatherings, small intimate gatherings, home churches, service oriented, programs (men's, women's, kid's, youth, seniors, singles, college, single but not that single, married, young married, old married, married with kids, married with no kids, young married with no kids, young but not newly married with no kids, singles with kids, teenage moms with kids, old married with some kids, empty-nesters, almost empty-nesters, etc . . .) You get the picture. It gets a little ridiculous! It's not that I don't think those questions are important, b/c being married to a pastor, I know they very much are, but it seems that people spend more time asking about which method is right or wrong, and which ones to use then criticize all the other options, than actually putting faith into practice and focusing on the mission of loving God and loving others.
By doing this, we get really good at loving our selves. This comes in the questions of "what is the church going to do for me?" "Why didn't they sing the songs I like during worship?" "How dare you question how I'm running this program, at least I showed up." "They keep it too hot in here." "They keep it too cold in here." "Why do we have to learn these hymns?" "Can't you just let us die singing hymns?" Questions like these show that the focus is entirely too much on ourselves. And because we do it or hear others do it so much, it becomes a learned and patterned behavior. I recently read someone discussing how you'd go about talking about "church shopping" to the early church. They wouldn't even understand the concept, but it's so ridiculously prevalent in our culture today, that we don't think twice about it.
Our culture of consumerism has entrenched itself into the church so tightly, we don't even notice it anymore. Our culture, as a whole, doesn't value anymore. I was going to put a specific thing in after I wrote "value", but honestly, you can choose your own adventure on that one. No wait, in a culture of psychology and self-help, we have learned to value ourselves very well. Perhaps too well. We really don't know what community means anymore. We don't do authentic well. We long to be known, just as long as you don't see any weaknesses. We bolt as soon as someone offends us. God forbid people care about our souls enough to point out sin that is destroying us. We create ridiculous, inappropriate, and unattainable standards for our pastors and leaders and then scrutinize their every move under a microscope so we can pounce and cry "fowl" if ever they err or even differ from our standard and opinion, all because we really value our rights and feel totally justified to sling them around as we feel fit. We don't place ourselves under God-given authority, and instead of dealing with sin, we run . . . for years . . . and what's worse, we pass it on to our kids. So, we amputate ourselves, whether from a specific community or from the community as a whole, and we fool ourselves into believing we're part of something that we really want no part of. And like phantom limbs, we experience excruciating pain, distortion, and the feeling of not knowing what's real and what's not.
Now before you start writing comments, there are very valid reasons to leave a church. There are a lot of unhealthy, abusive churches out there that need an influx of help and healing. People have been mortally wounded by the church, and it's tragic. But that's not the group I'm talking about here. I also know these are huge generalizations, and many many Christians commit to their church community, and place themselves in accountability relationships, and dive-in head first in belonging to a body of believers greater than themselves; even when they get hurt, even when they're "stuff" is called out", even when it would be easier to walk away. These are people who value what Jesus came to do-- heal, set free, have faith, love, justify, live out righteousness, bring peace. And they understand that He had a purpose in leaving His church to a broken, messed up, and needy people. They understand that the church isn't perfect in and of itself. It's only made perfect through Him. And they understand that He loves it, desperately! There's a reason the image of Christ being the groom and the church being His bride is in the Bible. It's a big freakin' deal!! And we should be doing pre-marital counseling, working out so we look good, and sending out invitations to the wedding instead of signing pre-nups, doing shot-gun weddings, and feeling "ho hum" about divorce rates. Let's steward this gift of church well and stop this cycle of consumerism among the body of believers!
"My body lets me know I'm getting older. Injuries take longer to heal. Weight goes on faster. My knees creak when I get up form kneeling. So why don't I get rid of my body? Well, it's the only body I have. If it get rid of it, I die.
Then why do people say they can walk with God and be spiritually healthy without the church?
"Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it" (1 Corinthians 12:27). God has determined that we, the church, are to be the physical demonstration of Jesus to this world, but this body of Christ often seems to be like my body: injured, weak, and creaking.
Many conclude it's time to abandon the body and do spiritual life on their own, but how is it possible to be in Christ while rejecting His body? Some say as long as they follow Jesus they re part of the body of Christ, regardless of whether they belong to a local church. But 1 Corinthians isn't written to everybody. It's written to "the church of God in Corinth" (1 Corinthians 1:2), a local church.
"God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers," according to 1 Corinthians 12:28, which implies a structure. the passage seems to suggest that belonging to the body of Christ is belonging to the organized church. How can you play your part in the body of Christ (as we are called to do) if you remove yourself from any formal connection to other body parts? A foot can't do it's own thing and succeed (1 Corinthians 12:15).
I believe many people live as phantom limbs. they are convinced they are part of the body, but they have amputated themselves. Be part of the body, and be prepared for a workout. The body needs to be in shape for the mission of saving others' lives."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So as you recall from a few posts ago, this section of 1 Corinthians was speaking to me, especially in regards to "gifts". Then a couple days after that, I picked up my denominations monthly magazine, "Light and Life" and read this article. The emphasis of the articles this month was on membership and why it's important to belong to a local church as a body of believers. This particular article makes sense to me. And it asks questions that I've been hearing people wrestle with for some time. Does church (as an organized community) matter?
I know there's tons of debate on the "how" church is done- formal gatherings, small intimate gatherings, home churches, service oriented, programs (men's, women's, kid's, youth, seniors, singles, college, single but not that single, married, young married, old married, married with kids, married with no kids, young married with no kids, young but not newly married with no kids, singles with kids, teenage moms with kids, old married with some kids, empty-nesters, almost empty-nesters, etc . . .) You get the picture. It gets a little ridiculous! It's not that I don't think those questions are important, b/c being married to a pastor, I know they very much are, but it seems that people spend more time asking about which method is right or wrong, and which ones to use then criticize all the other options, than actually putting faith into practice and focusing on the mission of loving God and loving others.
By doing this, we get really good at loving our selves. This comes in the questions of "what is the church going to do for me?" "Why didn't they sing the songs I like during worship?" "How dare you question how I'm running this program, at least I showed up." "They keep it too hot in here." "They keep it too cold in here." "Why do we have to learn these hymns?" "Can't you just let us die singing hymns?" Questions like these show that the focus is entirely too much on ourselves. And because we do it or hear others do it so much, it becomes a learned and patterned behavior. I recently read someone discussing how you'd go about talking about "church shopping" to the early church. They wouldn't even understand the concept, but it's so ridiculously prevalent in our culture today, that we don't think twice about it.
Our culture of consumerism has entrenched itself into the church so tightly, we don't even notice it anymore. Our culture, as a whole, doesn't value anymore. I was going to put a specific thing in after I wrote "value", but honestly, you can choose your own adventure on that one. No wait, in a culture of psychology and self-help, we have learned to value ourselves very well. Perhaps too well. We really don't know what community means anymore. We don't do authentic well. We long to be known, just as long as you don't see any weaknesses. We bolt as soon as someone offends us. God forbid people care about our souls enough to point out sin that is destroying us. We create ridiculous, inappropriate, and unattainable standards for our pastors and leaders and then scrutinize their every move under a microscope so we can pounce and cry "fowl" if ever they err or even differ from our standard and opinion, all because we really value our rights and feel totally justified to sling them around as we feel fit. We don't place ourselves under God-given authority, and instead of dealing with sin, we run . . . for years . . . and what's worse, we pass it on to our kids. So, we amputate ourselves, whether from a specific community or from the community as a whole, and we fool ourselves into believing we're part of something that we really want no part of. And like phantom limbs, we experience excruciating pain, distortion, and the feeling of not knowing what's real and what's not.
Now before you start writing comments, there are very valid reasons to leave a church. There are a lot of unhealthy, abusive churches out there that need an influx of help and healing. People have been mortally wounded by the church, and it's tragic. But that's not the group I'm talking about here. I also know these are huge generalizations, and many many Christians commit to their church community, and place themselves in accountability relationships, and dive-in head first in belonging to a body of believers greater than themselves; even when they get hurt, even when they're "stuff" is called out", even when it would be easier to walk away. These are people who value what Jesus came to do-- heal, set free, have faith, love, justify, live out righteousness, bring peace. And they understand that He had a purpose in leaving His church to a broken, messed up, and needy people. They understand that the church isn't perfect in and of itself. It's only made perfect through Him. And they understand that He loves it, desperately! There's a reason the image of Christ being the groom and the church being His bride is in the Bible. It's a big freakin' deal!! And we should be doing pre-marital counseling, working out so we look good, and sending out invitations to the wedding instead of signing pre-nups, doing shot-gun weddings, and feeling "ho hum" about divorce rates. Let's steward this gift of church well and stop this cycle of consumerism among the body of believers!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Day 8
This is James typing. Abby has been talking about stewarding some fantastic things so far. I am soooooo proud of her! Now....since it is 10:51pm (on the night before co-op) I'm forcibly taking her computer from her (OOOOUUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH.......) and making her heed her own post from yesterday and go to bed!!! I'll give her back her computer tomorrow and you can all once again read some tremendous thoughts from a fantastic mother, beautiful wife, and dear daughter of God (and I keep telling her she's an amazing "author" also...).
If you are disappointed with this post, blame Canada. And then direct your frustrations to me--her husband! Thanks.....
james
If you are disappointed with this post, blame Canada. And then direct your frustrations to me--her husband! Thanks.....
james
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Day 7
So it's kinda hard to think of new things to write each day. Makes me glad I only write like this once a year rather than full-time! My thoughts could take many different forms tonight, but tonight it's gonna go towards rest. Do I steward rest well? Rest can be in the form of physical (am I exhausted or rested), emotional (am I burdened or set free), spiritual (am I beaten down and battled or victorious), and mental (am I confused or do I have clarity)?
- Psalm 22:2 "My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest."
- Psalm 62:1 "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him."
- Psalm 62:5 "Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him."
These are just a couple of verses I found on rest (there's obviously hundreds more), and there's definitely two different tones. One is full of peace saying "hope and salvation comes from him." The other cries a different story saying "I find no rest, though I seek you." It seems like in this Christian life, we always strive to achieve rest and peace. In fact, the two are often synonyms for each other. However, what if part of our rest comes in the struggle? What if we can't really know the true rest that God offers us unless we go through the pains and heartaches? Just like we can't know what something really sweet tastes like unless we put it next to something salty or bitter or plain, we can't fully know what rest is like if we don't go through a state of unrest or crisis or strife. Reminds me of the adage, "the shadow proves the sunshine". You can't have one and ignore the other. So very simply, do I steward rest well? Do I embrace all the parts that come with allowing me to understand and appreciate rest, or do I ignore the things that are painful and gut-wrenching and just focus on the superficial notions of rest that tend to blow away with any wind of discomfort or circumstance?
And now, I will go rest, because God knows, the last two days I've been embracing the discomfort and confusion!
- Psalm 22:2 "My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest."
- Psalm 62:1 "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him."
- Psalm 62:5 "Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him."
These are just a couple of verses I found on rest (there's obviously hundreds more), and there's definitely two different tones. One is full of peace saying "hope and salvation comes from him." The other cries a different story saying "I find no rest, though I seek you." It seems like in this Christian life, we always strive to achieve rest and peace. In fact, the two are often synonyms for each other. However, what if part of our rest comes in the struggle? What if we can't really know the true rest that God offers us unless we go through the pains and heartaches? Just like we can't know what something really sweet tastes like unless we put it next to something salty or bitter or plain, we can't fully know what rest is like if we don't go through a state of unrest or crisis or strife. Reminds me of the adage, "the shadow proves the sunshine". You can't have one and ignore the other. So very simply, do I steward rest well? Do I embrace all the parts that come with allowing me to understand and appreciate rest, or do I ignore the things that are painful and gut-wrenching and just focus on the superficial notions of rest that tend to blow away with any wind of discomfort or circumstance?
And now, I will go rest, because God knows, the last two days I've been embracing the discomfort and confusion!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Day 6
Tonight is one of those nights my heart aches and I wish parenting was easy. We've once again come to a crossroads with Sam (my 8 year old) and his fear - of the unknown, of trying something new, of making decisions. I'm not going to go into it all because it's his business, but I'll share that we've been doing EVERYTHING we know to encourage him to take risks and trust God, so for his own sake, he will be less fearful as he grows up.
To see your child literally paralyzed by fear is heartbreaking. We get all sorts of advice and commentary on how to work or deal with him . . . none of it super helpful, and some just downright stupid and ignorant: "It's just a phase," "I was exactly like that as a child, I feel bad for him," "At least he's not bringing knives to school, now THAT'S a real issue that you should be worried about," "He just needs to confess his sin of idolatry before a real heart change can happen," "Your being shy is not glorifying to God," "He just needs to stop being selfish and get over it," "You need to stop talking to him about things and just make the decision for him." Again, real things said by real people about my real son . . . seriously?!?!? Heartbreaking.
Today's post won't be long, because I'm tired and sad and want to go to bed, but I'm reminded of Proverbs 4:23 which says after talking about striving for wisdom, "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." As Sam's mom, my job at this stage in his life is to guard his heart. If his heart isn't protected, a path of destruction may be the trail he leaves in the future, as EVERYTHING he does will flow from the state of his heart. So this begs me to ask, am I stewarding my sons' hearts well? Am I pushing for things that are really helpful in the long run for them, or am I pushing because I fear what others think? If it's the latter, they will surely be consumed.
My prayer for both my boys, but for Sam in particular tonight, is that he "not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present (his) requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard (his) heart and (his) mind in Christ Jesus. (Sam), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" (Philippians 4:6-8).
To see your child literally paralyzed by fear is heartbreaking. We get all sorts of advice and commentary on how to work or deal with him . . . none of it super helpful, and some just downright stupid and ignorant: "It's just a phase," "I was exactly like that as a child, I feel bad for him," "At least he's not bringing knives to school, now THAT'S a real issue that you should be worried about," "He just needs to confess his sin of idolatry before a real heart change can happen," "Your being shy is not glorifying to God," "He just needs to stop being selfish and get over it," "You need to stop talking to him about things and just make the decision for him." Again, real things said by real people about my real son . . . seriously?!?!? Heartbreaking.
Today's post won't be long, because I'm tired and sad and want to go to bed, but I'm reminded of Proverbs 4:23 which says after talking about striving for wisdom, "above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." As Sam's mom, my job at this stage in his life is to guard his heart. If his heart isn't protected, a path of destruction may be the trail he leaves in the future, as EVERYTHING he does will flow from the state of his heart. So this begs me to ask, am I stewarding my sons' hearts well? Am I pushing for things that are really helpful in the long run for them, or am I pushing because I fear what others think? If it's the latter, they will surely be consumed.
My prayer for both my boys, but for Sam in particular tonight, is that he "not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present (his) requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard (his) heart and (his) mind in Christ Jesus. (Sam), whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" (Philippians 4:6-8).
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Day 5
Whew . . . it's been a busy day! It was Freedom Sunday at church, then Formation Hour (where I get to teach little peeps to sing!), then our small group made lunch, ate lunch, and served lunch downtown to our friends without homes, home for pre-marital counseling with a lovely couple, quick stop by the neighbor's to catch up, downtown to Red Robin to celebrate our favorite 2 year old, then quick stop to Safeway to get a few groceries in the house before the week starts, groceries away and house picked up, kids ready for bed, and now a few minutes to write!
So an obvious focus today could be stewardship of time. But honestly, there's not one thing on that list that I didn't want to do and wasn't life-giving to me, so I'll focus on time at some other point. Rather, I find myself thinking of whether I steward the notion of being "fully-present" well. I can already tell you that this is an area I regularly fail in. People often just state that it's because I'm too busy, but I know people much more busy than me who are fully present and engaged every time you have a conversation with them. Real life humans. Jesus was an example of being full-present too, and He was one busy man! There are others I know who really aren't busy at all, and they too fail at being full-present, so busy-ness is not a very accurate indicator of whether one is fully-present or not.
There's a story in Matthew 17 that tells of a man who wants his son healed. He comes to Jesus after asking the disciples if they would do it. They couldn't. Having just come down with 3 of the disciples from a mountain and the "transfiguration" experience (you know, fulfilling prophesy and all), Jesus is bit frustrated with the disciples who weren't able to help this boy. Matthew 17:14-20 says,
14-16At the bottom of the mountain, they were met by a crowd of waiting people. As they approached, a man came out of the crowd and fell to his knees begging, "Master, have mercy on my son. He goes out of his mind and suffers terribly, falling into seizures. Frequently he is pitched into the fire, other times into the river. I brought him to your disciples, but they could do nothing for him."
17-18Jesus said, "What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this? Bring the boy here." He ordered the afflicting demon out—and it was out, gone. From that moment on the boy was well.
19When the disciples had Jesus off to themselves, they asked, "Why couldn't we throw it out?"
20"Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle." (The Message)
I used The Message translation here because I liked that the word "focus" was used. Here the disciples have been living, traveling, and working with Jesus for three years. You'd think they would have learned a few things, but they're ineffective and not able to help a boy in desperate need of freedom. Jesus is telling the disciples that the reason why is that they lack faith . . . they're unfocused in their learning, study, and knowledge of God, and without focus you can't really believe something.
Have you ever taken a test without studying for it? Sometimes you get a decent grade and sometimes you fail, but until you get the test back, your faith in how you did waivers, because you know you didn't give careful attention to the information or process. On the flip side, when you carefully study for a test and devote yourself to focusing on the details for that test, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you'll receive a good grade because you have faith in the process of studying and in the knowledge that you possess.
If we don't take the time to focus ourselves, whether it be in relationships, the Word of God, study of our culture, our prayer life, our marriages, our family, non-believers, our jobs, or whatever else captures our heart, then we're not going to have the firm confidence and faith that we will be effective and have the skills necessary to do the task set before us. So whether busy or not, I still have to discipline myself to learn to focus in small things and big things so that I can be "fully-present" in them and have the faith to carry out my calling. When Jesus sends a person to me that needs Him, I don't want to hem and haw about "gee, I wonder what Jesus wants me to do here. I think I remember Him saying something about something, or maybe that was only for certain people . . . now I'm confused, and this guy looks really messed up!" No, I want the full assurance that I studied God's instructions hard, and have the faith that His power is in me so that I too can move mountains and be able to tackle anything He asks me to do. I have so far to go!
ps- when i write these, i sometimes ask james questions about where to find something or the meaning of some specific word. he mentions things like "it depends" and tells me i can "cross-reference" a particular passage. we get into debates on hebrew words when i just want clear-cut answers saying "the bible shouldn't be this hard to understand"! he goes on about how people want the bible to just be a yes/no answer book for them. i usually tune him out at this point and say something like "i'm not writing a freakin' sermon. that's your job." just wanted to let you in on how a pastor and his obedient wife discuss this stuff! he LOVES these conversations! and i'm humble enough to tell you that if i get a particular reference wrong or you'd like to discuss a certain theological point, my pastor would love to take you to coffee and talk to you about it! (-;
So an obvious focus today could be stewardship of time. But honestly, there's not one thing on that list that I didn't want to do and wasn't life-giving to me, so I'll focus on time at some other point. Rather, I find myself thinking of whether I steward the notion of being "fully-present" well. I can already tell you that this is an area I regularly fail in. People often just state that it's because I'm too busy, but I know people much more busy than me who are fully present and engaged every time you have a conversation with them. Real life humans. Jesus was an example of being full-present too, and He was one busy man! There are others I know who really aren't busy at all, and they too fail at being full-present, so busy-ness is not a very accurate indicator of whether one is fully-present or not.
There's a story in Matthew 17 that tells of a man who wants his son healed. He comes to Jesus after asking the disciples if they would do it. They couldn't. Having just come down with 3 of the disciples from a mountain and the "transfiguration" experience (you know, fulfilling prophesy and all), Jesus is bit frustrated with the disciples who weren't able to help this boy. Matthew 17:14-20 says,
14-16At the bottom of the mountain, they were met by a crowd of waiting people. As they approached, a man came out of the crowd and fell to his knees begging, "Master, have mercy on my son. He goes out of his mind and suffers terribly, falling into seizures. Frequently he is pitched into the fire, other times into the river. I brought him to your disciples, but they could do nothing for him."
17-18Jesus said, "What a generation! No sense of God! No focus to your lives! How many times do I have to go over these things? How much longer do I have to put up with this? Bring the boy here." He ordered the afflicting demon out—and it was out, gone. From that moment on the boy was well.
19When the disciples had Jesus off to themselves, they asked, "Why couldn't we throw it out?"
20"Because you're not yet taking God seriously," said Jesus. "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle." (The Message)
I used The Message translation here because I liked that the word "focus" was used. Here the disciples have been living, traveling, and working with Jesus for three years. You'd think they would have learned a few things, but they're ineffective and not able to help a boy in desperate need of freedom. Jesus is telling the disciples that the reason why is that they lack faith . . . they're unfocused in their learning, study, and knowledge of God, and without focus you can't really believe something.
Have you ever taken a test without studying for it? Sometimes you get a decent grade and sometimes you fail, but until you get the test back, your faith in how you did waivers, because you know you didn't give careful attention to the information or process. On the flip side, when you carefully study for a test and devote yourself to focusing on the details for that test, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you'll receive a good grade because you have faith in the process of studying and in the knowledge that you possess.
If we don't take the time to focus ourselves, whether it be in relationships, the Word of God, study of our culture, our prayer life, our marriages, our family, non-believers, our jobs, or whatever else captures our heart, then we're not going to have the firm confidence and faith that we will be effective and have the skills necessary to do the task set before us. So whether busy or not, I still have to discipline myself to learn to focus in small things and big things so that I can be "fully-present" in them and have the faith to carry out my calling. When Jesus sends a person to me that needs Him, I don't want to hem and haw about "gee, I wonder what Jesus wants me to do here. I think I remember Him saying something about something, or maybe that was only for certain people . . . now I'm confused, and this guy looks really messed up!" No, I want the full assurance that I studied God's instructions hard, and have the faith that His power is in me so that I too can move mountains and be able to tackle anything He asks me to do. I have so far to go!
ps- when i write these, i sometimes ask james questions about where to find something or the meaning of some specific word. he mentions things like "it depends" and tells me i can "cross-reference" a particular passage. we get into debates on hebrew words when i just want clear-cut answers saying "the bible shouldn't be this hard to understand"! he goes on about how people want the bible to just be a yes/no answer book for them. i usually tune him out at this point and say something like "i'm not writing a freakin' sermon. that's your job." just wanted to let you in on how a pastor and his obedient wife discuss this stuff! he LOVES these conversations! and i'm humble enough to tell you that if i get a particular reference wrong or you'd like to discuss a certain theological point, my pastor would love to take you to coffee and talk to you about it! (-;
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